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This is a tough one. You need you time and that absolutely does not involve going to the grocery store. I understand that you just want to be with your family etc but that doesn't mean that he is the same way necessarily. He needs to go out he needs to be social and that's okay and you have to let him. I'm not saying you should be okay with him never being home or anything excessive like that. For 15 to 20 minutes for a beer with work buddies or whatever that shouldn't be a big deal. I just mean if you you know choose your battles or whatever 15 to 20 minutes probably wouldn't be one that I would choose to be upset about but that's just me. Now you need to decide what your time looks like to you and what you expect. Like if you want it everyday and for how long etc and you need to make sure that he knows that because if you don't then you can't really complain that you don't have any you time if you don't prefer to spend it out and about like he does.
If he wanted to, he would Wouldn't you feel terrible if he stayed in just to make you feel happy?
You cant expect him to be like you when he’s not . Your okay with staying home all the time, its okay to let him have a life and some fun outside of the house 💯. I think how hard you are trying to force him yo change and be like you is what prompted him saying the whole divorce stuff . But I mean this in the nicest way possible you are being selfish. You are purposely choosing to not have any “me” time as you’ve said because you are an introvert. Let him have fun with his friend girl
I know things will change when a baby comes, but it’s important that both partners still have time for themselves. He deserves time to unwind with his friends, and you deserves that too, whether through friends or a hobby. It’s not about going out all the time — it’s about maintaining balance, trust, and communication between you guys. You are partners, and taking care of yourself individually will help you take care of your family together. It’s important that both feel supported, not trapped or resentful.
The fact he brought up divorce is real shitty, and as for co-parenting he will then absolutely not have a life more so depending on what days he gets to take care of his child and he’ll have to figure out how to do everything on his own which is what many don’t think about when they just throw it out there as an “easy” option. You both made this baby, life is going to change and if he’s trying to go out every single week or multiple times a week then he needs to grow up and take some responsibility. But as for what others said, you can’t control what he does but it would be nice if he goes out then you plan something for yourself as well the next day or something that’s not inside the home. Go to your parents and take a nap baby free or to a store and walk around or just something for yourself. Grocery shopping does not count at all, if anything he can start taking turns and doing that as well. But him saying this isn’t what he signed up for then maybe you are better off separating…
Instead of dealing with someone who sounds immature and doesn’t want to take responsibility as a father and husband. I was in a relationship with someone like this and it never changed, I left and in time I found someone who was more like me and don’t have many differences thankfully and are on the same page about everything. Communication is the biggest thing for sure. Good luck 🩷
He should be able to go out and enjoy hanging with friends time to time but as a sahm u should be able to get me time as well and as for him saying grocery shopping is a part of that is wrong that not having me time that making sure the family has what they need it's good u wanna spend time with them and all that but he needs to be a man an sometimes pamper you as well let u have some kind of break and it's hard when u have a baby to go do things but sometimes u have to do that so u don't feel like ur goin crazy but all in all I agree with Jennifer let him have his time and don't let it bother u and u find what u like to do and he could watch after the baby or find a babysitter and have a night out occasionally
Thing is, he wants to go out. You don’t. You are comparing your free time to his free time, but you’d rather spend that at home. It’s not his fault he’s an extrovert and has friends and you are a homebody. If you he wants to go bowling or go out w his friends, let him. And then this week you pass the babies onto him and you have a couple hrs to yourself doing whatever you want, make it FAIR, instead of disrupting his social life. I think it’s healthy for both Mum and Dad to have outlets outside the relationship I don’t rely on him and my kids for 100% of my happiness and I told him not to rely on me either. If he told me I can’t go out and can’t see my friends and can’t go dancing I’d tell him to F off. We both have one hobby day and a friend catch-up per week. Let him see his friends, but then if shopping is your thing then leave babies home w him and you go shopping alone. Or whatever you wanna do. But make it fair. You go? Okay tmr I go. Etc. instead of saying no you can’t.
I wish my husband would go out with his friends instead of drinking at home. But I don’t think you can expect somebody to spend all their time with you. If it’s only on occasion that he wants to go out, I think he should be able to. If it’s every single day, I think he’s out of line.