One and done?

Ive always pictured and wanted two kids but since we’ve had our 18m/o my husband and I snap at each other a lot more - normally due to tiredness and this comes and goes in phases it’s not all the time - but I get really emotional when this happens and feel like our marriage is falling apart (he’s very relaxed so isn’t really worried when we snap and knows it’s just from stress) but we never used to snap and I hate any kind of confrontion so just get so upset by it Which brings me to my question. I’ve always wanted two kids and can’t imagine not experiencing being pregnant etc again but I’m scared for my marriage, I’m scared it won’t survive if we have a second child. And how do I tell him that when he doesn’t think there is a problem or at least he says it’s not 🥺 I love him so much and would love to give our baba a sibling but whenever we have these moments it makes me think we should just be one and done and not had more stress 🥺 Any advise,help experience with this is appreciated ☺️ I don’t have these one and done thoughts or worries about my marriage out with these moments (though finically i do worry about how much more expensive it will be 🤦🏻‍♀️)

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Just bring up waiting longer, you don't have to have one now, you can work on the marriage and have another baby later. Bringing it up and doing your best to stay calm during the talk. Or writing notes to each other can also help keep the peace while getting what you need to say out

@Nevaeh I know I feel like I don’t have much time to decide - giving a bigger age gap would probably be ideal but I am already nearing my mid 30s 🙈 i know o can have a child later than that but I wasn’t planning on it -tbh he’d prob be fine with it just fromA financial standpoint Our marriage is great most of the time and they are just really stupid snaps at each other not full blown arguments but I don’t think he gets why I get so upset (honestly sometimes I don’t either my mond just goes to the worst 🤣

Oh okay, I'm sorry. You should tell him how you feel about possibly not having another one and see what he thinks. If you guys did have another you would have to try and be more patient with each other, maybe you can try and talk to your doctor about ways to relax and stuff I completely understand the mood stuff, I'll be fine and the littlest thing can just piss me off sometimes Me and my husband get like that sometimes but we didn't wait cause we wanted our kids close together, we just really have to try and be patient, sometimes our arguments are over test because I can get really mad which I don't like and it seems like it helps us calm down better and talk it out rather than yelling

I understand this and think it gets easier the older children get. As you rightly said, a lot of it is just down to tiredness which is temporary. If you have two, they won't be little forever! It might actually be better than you think. I think having another one is still worth considering if that's what you both want

@Tolu I’m so torn I love the idea of having two I grew up with a sister and can’t imagine growing up an only child! She has no cousin or friends kids that around the same age they are all a bit older as well 🙈 I do love that my hormones are finally in a place where I feel like myself again so not in a huge rush right now. Such a difficult decision

I mean if you really want to kids … does it matter if you do it alone or not . I’ve always heard the saying about regretting not having the kids you wanted . Would you rather have one child and be married and think about the baby you didn’t have all the time or have another and if your marriage breaks you know you have what you always wanted ??

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