What the fuck do I do?

Don't think its anything to break up over. Things were said while emotions were running high. I'm sure everyone will be over whats happened in no time. should you get married and people arent over it for some reason, you'll need to express what you'd like from them both and they'll need to suck it up for your sake and or your childrens sake.

Seems like more to the story. He sounds in the wrong but why would he come out with that. I'd dig deeper and try to resolve the issue x

I’m sorry but I may be missing something here. First, is it ok for your sister to suck your son’s dummy? Is that something you’d allow seeing kids are delicate and can pick up any number of illnesses? Secondly, your partner may have overreacted but why does that worry your engagement hopes? I’d ask him what he saw her do, why it upset him and why he’s lashed out more than he should? He seems to care about your son, but doesn’t need to speak to anyone in that manner to prove it, that’s the line. His response should give you more clarity to decide how to manage them both. And i don’t think your sister acted well too, blood shouldn’t easily be ready to block out each other. She can respect your decision to be with the man you love, and still maintain a good relationship with you. It’s tough but when you get clarity from both sides on what’s really going on, it should help you manage the whole situation. Here’s wishing you all the luck with them. Xoxo.

I hope you’re okay! How distressing! To be fair I can understand your partner not wanting your sister to suck on your child’s dummy, I’m assuming to clean it if it had fallen? So good intentions but still made him feel uncomfortable just like he did to her in what he said. The delivery properly wasn’t the best and maybe should have been something he’d said to you and you calmly discussed with your sister but hindsight is a wonderful thing. I’d say to both of them separately that you’re upset with the situation but will discuss it in time. Let your sister go home however she wants or your partner and in time I’m sure it’ll be fine. They’ve both spoken out of anger! I’m sure your sister would never not attend your wedding as she loves you! It’s really not something to fall out about!

@Vee, things have been brewing for years. I don't think we will come back from this. Not how we were. My relationship with my sister seems OK, but it's weird with my partner. I had wanted my sister to be my my maid of honour. That won't happen now because I would never force my partner to be angry, upset or uncomfortable on his wedding day.

@Vanessa, there is more, and I already know what it is. So she betrayed our trust 4 years ago, and he can't move on. He hates that she is close to our son and feels like she is trying to live through us (she is single). He feels like she takes to many photos, involves herself in everything, etc, he loathes her. She dislikes him because he has been stand offish with her since our trust was broken and has sometimes been downright rude. She apologised, and he seems to have forgiven my bestie who was involved and equally to blame. She also apologised. He hasn't said anything when things happen (refuses to because he'll explode apparently) and has snapped a few times at her, and then today was just the worst.

@Esta, no, and I told him that, and he could have left it at "please don't suck his dummy." Also, he is 3. I wouldn't allow it to happen. I would want my sister to be my maid of honour. She won't be now as I won't cause my partner distress on his wedding day. He reacted how he did because she betrayed our trust 4 years ago, and he can't move on. He hates that she is close to our son and feels like she is trying to live through us (she is single). He feels like she takes too many photos, involves herself in everything, etc. He loathes her. She dislikes him because he has been stand offish with her since our trust was broken and has sometimes been downright rude. She apologised, and he seems to have forgiven my bestie who was involved and equally to blame. She also apologised. He hasn't said anything when things happen (refuses to because he'll explode apparently) and has snapped a few times at her, and then today was just the worst.

@Daisy, I'm not, but thank you for asking. Yeah, it fell on the floor of our car. She would attend, if we got married, but I would want her IN the wedding. I dont think this is fixable.She betrayed our trust 4 years ago, and he can't move on. He hates that she is close to our son and feels like she is trying to live through us (she is single). He feels like she takes to many photos, involves herself in everything, etc, he loathes her. She dislikes him because he has been stand offish with her since our trust was broken and has sometimes been downright rude. She apologised, and he seems to have forgiven my bestie who was involved and equally to blame. She also apologised. He hasn't said anything when things happen (refuses to because he'll explode apparently) and has snapped a few times at her, and then today was just the worst.

I think I accidentally clicked break up so I have to comment now. Communication between all parties is what will protect the relationships in question. Break up is a lil extreme unless you have other reason that warrants a break up- but that a personal choice that I dnt think anyone needs a say on.

Ok now I do understand. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. I hope they do find a common ground for you and your son’s sake ❤️but I don’t think this affects your relationship with either of them. Wishing you the best sis Xoxo

That’s so difficult coz your partner obviously has his reasons and I suppose to an extent he is semi putting that to the side to even be on holiday with your sister which I suppose is trying to make you happy etc. 4 years ago is also a long time but obviously depends what it was. I think it’s fair due to this previous betrayal your partner putting up boundaries as she’s done it once and therefore could do it again. I think giving it time is a good thing, emotions are high. I wouldn’t want my family member sucking on my child’s dummy to clean it due to different mouth germs etc. My partner and I when we had our daughter said if there was literally anything that made us feel uncomfortable whoever’s family member/friend it was would have the chat to say no in a nice way. It’s so difficult but nothing will be sorted right away, everyone will need to calm down. But also your sister not being the parent needs to understand that there may be things she can’t do and respect it x

@Liz, how do I get them to communicate when he said he wants nothing to do with her, and she said she will be avoiding him from now on. We do have our issues but I'm so hurt about this. I've been begging him for ages to talk to her, to have a calm conversation or to address things firmly and politely if he notices and I don't say anything. He has refused to do both and instead reacted this way. I haven't really spoken to him yet so won't make any decision until I have. I'm just really hurt. About all this but also he pulled away from me while we were out and refused to kiss me when we got back.

OP it sounds like you’re taking your sisters side and your partner just sounds annoyed at the whole situation. It sounds like your sister doesn’t really take accountability for her behavior. I would be shocked/ pretty mad if anyone put my baby’s dummy in their mouth.