Is it just a nickname?

So my daughter is eight months old and her name is ALEIGHNA pronounced uh lay nuh. I knew months before having her that’s what I wanted to name her. I took suggestions. I let my parents give suggestions and my boyfriend’s mother give suggestion. She wanted to name her Allison Kimberly ( Kimberly is her name) and I already knew that I didn’t like it not because it’s her name I just I didn’t like the name. So for like two months after my baby was born, she didn’t wanna see her. She didn’t wanna talk to her. We even got well. We didn’t get into it, but I didn’t talk to her for a while because she said something implying that I had cheated on my boyfriend and that Aleighna might not be her granddaughter. so after that, I never made her see my daughter. My boyfriend kept trying to make a man and have me take my daughter to her, but like why would I force my daughter around somebody that did not wanna be around her? So fast forward the story we leave for a trip. My daughters is two months old to go see my parents we come back and all of a sudden she wants to love on her and I don’t stop her you know I’m not gonna keep her away from her grandparents if they want to be in her life. now here comes the dilemma ever since then she has been calling my daughter Allison Kimberly now I don’t even entertain it. I call her Aleighna so like when she asks me oh how is Allison, I’ll be like oh aleighna is great. She is doing amazing you know because that’s what I named her but my boyfriend keeps saying that it’s just a nickname just like my parents, (they call my daughter juicy as a nickname) and I have to keep telling him like that’s not a nickname that’s a full name. that’s a first middle and we are already know her last name. I know if I say something now she is going to do what she did in the first two months of my daughter‘s life and just not wanna be around her and my boyfriend refuses to say anything to him for whatever reason probably because he also doesn’t wanna make her upset, but I’m coming to my end with it. I don’t like it. I never have. She is my only child and I would like her to be called what I named her. Am I doing too much?

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You're not doing too much. She's completely out of line.

Also she apparently has done this with other kids and that’s cool for them just not for me

You’re not doing too much. A nickname is typically something that’s a shorter version of a name or a name that really has nothing to do with the name & like you said, Allison Kimberly is basically a full name. I would tell her that if she can’t call your daughter by the correct name, she can’t be around her anymore or even ask about her. Or if she asks “how’s Allison?” I would ignore the message.

@Katie I’m not a confrontational person but I want to say something so bad. I just don’t want it to backfire on my bf and daughter

Your boyfriend needs to stop making excuses for his mom & he needs to stand up to her. If you don’t want her calling your daughter the wrong name, he needs to be in your corner about that.

Naaaaaaa… absolutely not. Foot down, something needs to get said. That’s so disrespectful and just not on tbh. Narcissistic behaviour. It’s not a nickname, she’s knows exactly what she’s doing and was doing at the beginning of your baby’s life. It sounds like she only wanted to be a part of her life out of jealousy cause the other grandparents had her. Your partner needs to be on your side about this and it should come from him, not you. Maybe compose a message together? If she stops talking to you because you ask politely to stop using another name for your child that says more about her. The absolute most you can compromise on this is saying I don’t mind her nickname being “Ali” if of course that is something you are comfortable with but someone else nicknaming your child with a completely different full name is just not okay. Especially as we know that was what she was keen for her to be called.

She needs to have her time with your daughter completely cut off until she learns what respect is. That's absolutely psychotic for her to be doing

That’s absolutely petty of her to be doing. It’s not her child ffs. I nicely asked my mum for name suggestions when I was pregnant and I gave her the list of what we had picked out so far that me and my partner liked. She didn’t like ANY of them. Then proceeded to offer suggestions which was fine but then kept saying I should give her my last name, I should call her this and that and it got too much so I had to take away the thing I wanted to bond with her over. Something that she said she wished my sister included her with. I wanted her to be included because she lives farther away and I wanted us to bond for my own reasons. But the moment someone starts trying to force something, something unnecessary and completely disregard all the names we chose, it wasn’t bonding. It was control. That’s what your bf’s mother is doing. She wants control. If she doesn’t want to be part of your daughter’s life as silly of a reason as you not picking her desired name, then so be it. Let her walk out

Keep her out afterwards too because people like this don’t change and are too selfish. Not to mention the fact she’s already confusing your child as well not just because of calling your child a completely different name but coming in and out of her life like that. Kindly try to put a stop to her behaviour and if nothing else works unfortunately you have to be brave and walk away for the sake of your sanity and your family. It’s not like you’re the one threatening to not let her see your child ever again, but she’s crossed a boundary and that’s pretty huge. It’s unfair to your little family. You have every right to put a stop to it

I told my boyfriend that too cause now she’ll answer to Allison and I’m just like why co fuse her like … I’m not gonna teach her two different names just cause she doesn’t want to call her the name we chose

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