How to deal with a breakup while pregnant?

His ex should not be apart of yalls picture. AT ALL! If he can't let her go he is not ready to move forward? Why does he feel bad for her?

@AllyBaby I know. I’ve told him this thousand of times. He keeps saying that he’s not in a romantic relationship with her but that he still needs to be there for her. She doesn’t live in the US, so they don’t see each other. But they do talk about business they have together. They co-own an apartment in the country she lives in, for months they’ve been trying to seek it without any luck. She also is a 45 years old woman, no kids. When they were in a relationship together, they were planning on have a baby. But it was not successful even with going to a doctor and trying other methods out. He has always been honest and open to me about their situation and what happened to them when they were together. She has not taken it well that he is in a new relationship and still doesn’t want to understand it. He feels bad because she is a lonely woman. I got pregnant, and she has cried to him and begging him and he says he can’t just discard her feelings like that because “she’s a human being”.

It’s all just so much and so complex.

Ok so I understand having a place together and having to discuss business for that. However, that should be all. To me it sounds like she is emotionally using him as well as creating a block in yalls relationship and he is allowing because ad you said he seems to have a very big heart. Unfortunately it also seems he may have a bigger spot for her since he knows this has been an issue between you and him. Is this the first time he has said I'll work on it involving the issues with her?

No, he’s been saying it to me even before I got pregnant. That those issues were going to be resolved and that she was up to date that he was starting a new life with someone else. Then was I found out I was pregnant from then & on he’s been constantly saying that he is going to resolve everything so that we can finally be happy together and at peace with no problems. But I have no energy anymore to keep waiting. She is definitely sabotaging our relationship in so many ways. And he’s too kind hearted. I understand her in part as a woman, it is difficult. But I know it’s not impossible and I feel that she is being controlling and taking advantage for him to feel bad for her.

Breathe and take a step at a time, what you are doing is right and stay strong, it’s so hard being so close to the due date and feeling like this. Please find sometime to detox while he’s gone ♥️ I think it’s harder because you still physically see him, he’s not bad and he’s always coming back for you guys which isn’t wrong.I think if he can support you through this period and you want him to then take advantage. You can also stand your ground by making requests on what he can do now for you. But if you don’t want him there, then don’t let him come at all and just speak to your mum, it might be easier to get support from where you really need. If your mum is understanding, she should be able to respect your boundaries and you know she won’t be making fake promises. The birth day is already a anxious day to come ♥️ Try not to be so anxious before giving birth, for me, it was really hard for me to calm myself during birth. Forget the woman for now x

@Tracii Thank you 🤍 I spoke to my mom not too long ago and opened up. I’m always one to keep everything in, so this has been bothering me for a long time. I finally was able to tell her and I was honest. And she supported me. I just feel like a failure at times at bringing a child into the world in a broken relationship ☹️ coming from divorced parents and a broken up family this is so hard on me. But I will get through it. Like my mom said, don’t stress it, don’t take responsibility for anyone else’s baggage, and focus on the baby & me. We will be fine

Hard pass- my husband didn’t have an ex, but a female friend from high school that just would not stop calling him and wanting to visit blah blah blah…it was an ugly drawn out fight, but I was not willing to be anything but his priority. If he couldn’t make that happen- and someone was worth more than that? Walk on to em! Ugh, that’s a hard spot to be in. I am so sorry.

I’m glad you opened up to your mum and I’m glad she understands, coming from parents that divorced as well, I understand you’re doing your best for Yourself and the baby, not just baby. Try not to lose yourself because it will reflect on the child’s life experiences, if all is mentally healthy, no one will know that the child may have come from split parents ♥️ because that child will be confident in mummy and themselves ♥️

I am in the same position myself. But as for him having this deep affection for his ex regarding a baby they wanted is a bit much. I mean your hormones are all over the place and he should be lucky you’ve stuck around for this long. He should not have any emotional contact with her, they are over and he should be focused on your well being and this baby. I really feel for you. You are better with the baby alone than someone who’s mind is in 2 hearts. That’s not fair at all. I was from broken home and swore down I wouldn’t never do the same and here I am going through exactly the same. But don’t look back, you aren’t going that way. You will get strong again mentally and once the baby is born he may break away from her completely and realise exactly where his priorities lie. You can do this…if you ever need someone to talk too I’m more than happy. My relationship is toxic and I’m two and fro all the time…it’s very bad…very bad…😞

I have no advice. All I can say is I’m there with you, similar situation and I feel your pain, here if you want to chat. Xx

I think your doing the right thing by just focusing on the baby. Just see if your midwife can help you get help. It's very hard When I was pregnant I had many issues which I just put to one side to focus on the baby. I was very anxious all through the pregnancy. He obviously feels still a lot for her so tell him go be with her.

@Kay agreed. You should never settle for anything less than what you’re worth.

@Tracii Great way to put it, thank you 🥰

@Wilson I’ve always had a good idea of what we woman are worth and what we should tolerate and what not. Unfortunately, in this situation I felt alittle out of control since there is a baby in the middle. But everything will be fine eventually, just a matter of time and some healing 💓 thank you for your words and time. I’m also open to talk if you need anything!!

@Mariam Thank you, I’m here as well. 🤍

@Miche Yup! That’s what I did but it’s hard when the man doesn’t want to accept and doesn’t want to let you go. I’m keeping my word. It’s difficult but not impossible

Throw a baby in the mix and everything changes. I feel so much more vulnerable, every decision is heavier