Boyfriend plays COD all the time!!

How old is the bf? As it could be a trend due to his age or it could be a major red flag

@Lenore he’s almost 28

I’ll be honest, you could try to talk to him again, really express how you feel but this is a huge red flag. His help needs to be consistent. Yes it is a valid hobby, but his family should always come first. Especially with a younger baby. There has to be some type of compromise.

@Alana he’s so done with me talking to him about it.. Everytime I bring it up.. he claims I’m bitching 🙄 I’ve even sent subliminal posts on FB that only he can see. It just pisses him off. Im really on the fence with pushing through the infant stage in hopes he comes around.. or breaking it off early to avoid the headaches.

He’ll probably start to say things like “This is what I was doing before, this is what makes me happy” 🙃 don’t fall for the manipulation lol. Do what’s best for you and your family! However if it continues this way, you’ll become understandably resentful towards him and sometimes that’s hard to come back from. So maybe try to have a really good heart to heart.

@Alana you and I are in the same boat, my partner is away from training but I am actually considering to ask for a separation. If I can do it without him, then maybe I just don’t need him.

My partner and I are both gamers. We've been together for 5yrs. Before I was pregnant/during pregnancy I was an absolute no lifer, didn't go outside except for work then come home and play games type of gal my bf was the same. Then, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl my life changed. But his hasn't. Ive since had to stop gaming ofcourse, but my partner hasn't. 🙄 He works backshift so basically has most of day before work. And he spends it on his computer playing games. 👀 Then after work he's "too tired" from work to be a daddy but not too tired to play games lol. I've told him I need support and help and he says he'll take her in the gaming room at night. But I've heard her screaming and him ignoring her cos he's in middle of a game. It forces me to take over... He's never lasted more than an hour or two with her B4 I need to step in... I wish I could offer advice to you but I can't. Lol I guess I'm here to say you're not alone and if you ever wanna talk/bitch about your man, my DMs are open. Xoxox

@Kiirsty sending DM

When I started dating my partner 18 months ago he was so big on gaming, when we didn't live together he would always send me pictures of him in his spare time at the computer 🤣 I said to him I've been in a relationship with a gamer before and it's not something I will settle for again, I'm all for having your own time to do what you want but if we are a couple and living together then we go to bed together and we spend time together. He moved in and we fell pregnant pretty quick I also have a 10 Yr old girl from previous relationship, and he's just naturally stopped playing on it, he would rather hang with us and go on days out etc every night he's not working he doesn't leave my side wants to watch movies or go for late night walks, it's got to a point where I'm pushing him to go on his game so I can watch TV by myself 🤣 he's only really in to fifa though so around oct/Nov he smashes it and will play for a couple of months, then he gets bored, don't think he's played on it since around Xmas time

I don’t know. I mean I know it’s irritating and harder on you but on the flip side of things ⚖️ video games or hanging out with the guys all the time, video games or out cheating, video games or not present in the home physically at all. Just another perspective 🫶

@Kate I love that! I should introduce my boyfriend to yours! 😂

@Courtney I get all that.. but that’s comparing game to other negatives. Video games, or being a tentative father. Video games or helping out with the housework and give me a break. I don’t mind him playing video games.. but he should be considerate of his family first before hopping on COD as soon as he walks in home from work. A simple, “hey babe.. is there anything you need before I play with the boys?” That can make this situation hell of a lot better.

Well if you put it like that and he doesn’t want to hear your concerns anymore then???

@Courtney then what? Leave him? That’s definitely an option. I just need to make sure it’s the right option before I pull the plug and have our son live 2 different lives.

Think of it this way, would he be okay if you was out with the girls every waking minute and leaving him to tend to the house and the baby? People saying atleast he's not cheating WOW so you have to deal with lack of intamcy, lack of respect, lack of responsibility and still be grateful because he's not cheating?? Nope!

@Kate I never agreed with that statement either, at the same time. They’ve probably dealt someone who cheated and rather have the alternative of a gamer. He wouldn’t like me out the house like that at all.. but you know.. I think ima just run errands at night. 🤷🏽‍♀️ or right when he gets home. Or on the weekends I’ll just stay gone all day… until he starts complaining.. thanks for the idea.

Honestly throw him in at the deep end and see how he likes it, if your always there to pick up the slack then he will just abuse it, start doing things for yourself when he's at home, go out, take a bath for an hour stick some music on and close the door, being parents is a 50/50 thing, fair enough I do all the housework in the home as he works full time doing nights so by time he's home there is nothing for him to do and enjoy cleaning it's my thing, he doesn't have a problem with that 🤣 but I refuse point blank to pick his clothes up off the floor, if he hasn't put his uniform in the wash basket for 4 days then it's not getting washed, I don't pick up after my 10yr old so don't expect me to do it for you, I don't mind doing all the house work but tidy up after yourself that's all I ask, but as for parental responsibility it's a two way street x

I’m not sure. If that’s an option for you by all means consider all of your options. It’s your life, happiness and sanity here. You have to do what’s best for you so you can be at your best for baby.

@Kate Reception was literal I see. I was implying that there could be worst things. But in this case, this is “worst” to her which I respect because we all have limitations and they are different. I remember complaining about certain things my partner was doing a while ago then I got with someone else and some of those things I complained about, I actually saw it in a different light and kinda appreciated and missed those things after the fact. I wasn’t intentionally being negative or argumentative at all. Just put out there another way to look at the situation. 🫶🏽

My husband was a serious gamer while we were dating. He used to have scheduled raids where he would be at his computer for 6 hours straight several evenings a week and he played a little other nights too. Video games are highly addictive. It takes a lot of intentional will to break that addiction. A lot of new fathers don't feel confident in being a dad and feel like they fail at parenting (whether that is because they can't soothe the baby or they get criticized for their attempts). It's hard to keep doing something that you feel like you are failing at and it feels good to compete at something you can win (video games).

Learning how to parent is no easy feat and as women we tend to get thrown in the deep end and figure it out. Many men don't have that option because they are not home with their baby all day long. They don't have the same amount of time to figure out what works and what doesn't. But I think most men care and want to do better they just don't know how so they give up. My husband stepped up when he got around other guys that were attentive, involved fathers and saw what it meant to be a supportive husband and present father. There is hope and it will take some of your patience and influence to help him. Feel free to DM if you want to chat more 💗