Unhelpful partner- long rant sorry!
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With my husband you have to ask him to do things - he just naturally won’t volunteer much. Well, yesterday he offered to put out toddler to bed but then it is a bit different for him as our toddler is fun and etc. So, yes, most men do struggle to bond with a baby and have much more fun when kids are a bit older. And as above suggested try to do things that are just for you and leave him with a baby so you can get a break and he can realise how not easy this is x
How old exactly does your baby have to be for him to be interested? Parenting is a team effort and if he isn't pulling his weight now why do you think he's suddenly going to be interested when the baby is older? It sounds like you've got two children to look after if he doesn't even know how to run the washing machine 🙄 If you are going to have this conversation with him I wouldn't initially frame it as you needing a break (it's clear he doesn't value what you are doing when he says he works) and ask him why he doesn't want to spend any time with his own child. Your partner is just going to end up being a stranger to him which I'm sure he wouldn't want. As others suggested you should also plan something in which means he HAS to look after the baby.
My partner is exactly the same, not helpful at all. He Huff's when I ask for his help and will hand my lo back to me within 5 mins saying she isn't settling you sort her. I cook and clean and look after our 11 week including all the feeds and nappy changing. It's exhausting and tiring and I feel like I am beginning to become resentful. I honestly feel like a single mother and that he is just here in the far far background. So please don't feel alone, I understand your pain and frustration. Just keep swimming girl, that's what I tell myself. Xxx
I’d sit down and have a chat with him about it. Or book something for yourself like a massage or some time with your friends which means he has to look after baby for a bit. I think sometimes partners don’t realise that it’s not easy being at home with a baby all day. Having something planned where they have to look after the baby often makes them realise so it might click in his head then that he shouldn’t be expecting all this from you. Also some partners aren’t always sure what to do with a baby. I know mine said he didn’t really know how to play or sing with her but he’s watched me a few times now and now really enjoys playing with her. I EBF so there are things he can’t help with but if I didn’t I would definitely be expecting him to help with some of the night feeds even if it’s just some of the weekend ones.