I hate how much I hate my in-laws.

1. They absolutely suck and I would be completely non-contact with them forever if I were in your shoes. 2. You husband needs to grow a spine and put an end to this. I agree this absolutely will kill your marriage if he allows it to continue. My husband is in a similar position with his family and how awful they can be to us and it has been very very hard on him to set boundaries, but it’s so important and necessary for the health of our family. There’s absolutely no excuse for your husband to not defend you and set boundaries with his family. It seems like you putting your foot down and marriage therapy is probably a good a start. I’m so sorry. I understand how awful this all feels. You’re not crazy for being absolutely pissed about it. The really hope you can find a solution. If your husband allows them to visit again, it might be a good option to go stay somewhere else with the baby while they’re there. They seem like they could easily be a danger to you both.

I don't blame you. That is seriously horrific. First of all, when you say you take care of her son and grandson, yes that's correct but the first thing that came to me was, no...that's YOUR husband and YOUR son that you take care of. I'm hating them with you. You are only 1.5months pp so where do they get off behaving like that on the day you're going to pick up their daughter (I presume) from the airport? Also, where is your husband in all this madness? I'm guessing that being brought up by these clowns is the norm to him, probably why he can't see their wrong doings. The difference is that it's wrong doings in your eyes. You are clear on how you wish to bring up your child and run the house and look after your family...have you previously communicated this with them at all? I.e. setting boundaries. It sounds as though the history before baby was just as terrible and maybe you and hubby weren't able to get through to their heads?? I admire you standing your ground as it is YOUR baby at the end of the day.

@Mckenna he wants us to summer with them somewhere in Europe and then go again for Christmas. I literally get physically I’ll when I think of another ‘vacation’ with them while I’m criticized for basically breathing .. we’re trying for baby number two right now and im hoping I’ll be too pregnant for at least Christmas. I can’t think of anything worse. The really sad thing is that he is very close with them and I can see that this absolutely kills him and I hate it but he would never cut them off and it’s not like they don’t love him .. it’s just the way they are. It’s completely different cultures too. I can respect theirs and make changes to accommodate them (when it doesn’t come to my baby , that’s one area where I don’t give 1f what anyone else says, his and my opinion are the only ones that matter and if they have a problem with that they can eat rocks for all I care) but it’s like they go out of their way to make me feel like I’m an outsider and won’t budge on anything.

When she comes to my house she rearranges everything as if it’s her house. I’m still looking for things from 2 summers ago.. it’s a whole other level of ‘make yourself at home’. There’s no boundaries

I’m so sorry. I absolutely would not go, that sounds horrific. “Adult Children of Immature Parents” by Lindsay Gibson is fabulous book on this issue. Might be good for both you and your husband. Endangering a baby on a boat and trying to take the baby away from the mother is certainly not “cultural”, that’s just selfish and awful. You’re doing great protecting your baby.

Keep that attitude strong and stick to your boundaries. Having children is not easy on the relationship between couples as it is. There is a lot of strain and pressure to find a rhythm and balance between baby, husband, housework etc. I went through a confrontation with my mil and as much as I love her, I feel like she didn't get me as I expected her to. In fact, it felt like I was being singled out. My biggest advice is to get some counselling and advice on how to deal with these people. I wish I'd done something like that but I had kept my mouth shut for quite a while. Until I blew. Since then I just say it as it is. I would personally like to learn how to talk back to someone without them realising that I'm being mean/assertive/giving them no choice and with some class. I've seen my sil talk like this and she is so good at it. She sometimes pauses before replying to someone in conversation and I know she's composing her reply carefully but it really is worth it in the end. I hope this helps a bit!

Also, how tf are they causing so much damage in your home??? Next time you see her rearranging things, just straight up ask her "why are you moving this?" Silly old fart!

Never let them come over again, tell your husband that you don’t care if he thinks you’re being ridiculous because they are vengeful and out to get you

@Preet oh god… don’t even get me going… 2020 - just moved in to our first house , again, brand new, sought out builder , everything was almost perfect. Our backyard was fenced in with a beautiful natural wood (I’m thinking cedar maybe) … while we were out my FIL took it upon himself to paint it RED!!! That alone $5000 to have it sanded off and that was a bargain. I’m usually pretty cheap about rugs and mats since we have several animals but since it was our first house I was like why not and spent about $3000 on 2 rugs (huge). They weren’t even a month old.. he took them in the backyard and pressure washed them and the rolled them up while they were still wet and left them sitting in the sun for days before I realized and at that point the damage was done. Smelled like wet dog and mould .. I had them in the basement for a month with carpet cleaners , dryers and cases of baking SODA before the smell came out but still.. not the same.. The builder didn’t seal one of the showers in the

Guest room properly and I had already arranged with him to come and do it . He went to the hardware store and got WHITE cocking against black Tile and used his FINGER to put it on… it’s a fucking mess .. Drug furniture across the wooden floors and about a 6 foot gouge out of the entry hallway…

I had to put the baby to bed.. .. I bought about 5k worth of plants and flowers for landscaping last summer and had a whole plan for where I wanted everything… They just planted everything together and it looks absolutely horrible. Of course my husband wouldn’t let me immediately rip them out of the ground to replant them. There was no rhyme or reason to what they were planted. No measuring , no coordination .. nothing.. not to mention the trees are crooked … it’s just so frustrating. Now on to the thing that I swear his dad was doing to drive me INSANE… I will admit I’m a bit neurotic about some things and smells and cleanliness is one. They were here mid summer . His dad bought a box to put compost in… under the sink , inside the house.. within a week we had thousands of fruit flies. I made it very clear if he wanted to compost he had to do it outside. Any fruit or food needs to immediately go outside, not in the garbage to sit for days. He blatantly refused. Every time he would

..open the box hundreds of fruit flies would fly out. I would buy fruit and he would literally cut a watermelon or any melon for that matter in half, eat it with a spoon and just leave it open on the counter. At one point we had pie, they just grabbed spoons and ate directly from it. Back to the fruit flies… eventually he would start putting the box outside .. but it the direct sun and he would bring the box INSIDE when it was outside all f*ing day in the sun and open it in the kitchen, thousands of fruit flies.. when I tell you I could t get rid of them until almost Christmas 😡😡😡. My blood is boiling just thinking about it. Then the fence… he had to have a huge tree taken down bc it was dying and was a hazard if it fell on the house. It was so big that the fence was build around the tree so when it came out there was a gap. We have small dogs so we had to build a new part asap. Again , something a professional should do.. or even myself, I could have done a better job than the hack

Job he did. Again, got all the wood from the hardware store so everything was ready for the contractor. He was bored one day so he deciddd that he’d do it.. he didn’t even use nails.. he used screws to attack the panels..it looks horrific. So huge waste of supplies, money , time.. and energy to take it down and do it properly.. Also, I should add that when he does anything it’s sloppy. When he painted our fence RED , he didn’t even try to avoid painting the house where the house met the fence or on the ground where the fence met the stone floor. We got a little shed that I said I would put together (I’m the handy one in our relationship, I actually like doing it), he put it together after I asked him not to. The door falls off every time I open it. I had bought a few tool to do little projects. He opened them and just threw out the spare parts that he wasn’t immediately using. All of the guides for the saws , the extra blades, the instruction manual.. the lack of common sense is

Astounding.. it literally to the point that I just know it has to be on purpose to get a reaction. Every time something is missing or broken that everyone knows his mother has broken (which isn’t a big deal, accidents happen) she will go to her grave saying ‘ I don’t know what happened’ or ‘it was like that’ and it’s infuriating. I can’t stand the not taking accountability and owning up to mistakes (which she passed on to her son). She literally starts crying if you accuse her of anything and it’s so manipulative it makes me sick. She’s never apologized for anything. His dad also said he thought I was ugly when I first met him ( to my husband , not me, but what kind of grown man says that about his sons fiancé ). It doesn’t bother me, I know I’m not ugly (do I think I’m the best looking person on the planet, absolutely not but I’ve never had an issue getting attention). So these are just a few eg. Of the damage they’ve done. They also almost broke a brand new suB zero fridge by

Leaving the freezer open. Oh and his mom constantly left the gas stove on. I literally came home one day to find four burners on while they were out for a walk (one with nothing even on it). The stove was constantly left on. If I keep going it will just seem like I’m knit picking but I could go for days. I really do want to have a good relationship with them but they’ve just been so horrible and refuse to acknowledge any wrongdoing so I don’t see how we can fix it if they won’t even acknowledge that they’ve overstepped so far. I would literally go to therapy with them but they think they are perfect and that I’m the problem.

@Shayla very different cultures. When they are together they want to spend 24/7 together and I just can’t. I literally had a nervous breakdown when we went on a family vacation with them a few years back. They were so offended that I would take a bath almost every night (I did it for my mental health since it was the only place I could be alone and reset). They still to this day bring it up constantly like I killed a puppy or something ! I had to learn their language (the very basics) to know what was going on bc that entire vacation ,even though the majority of them can speak English, they spoke in their language the entire time and I was expect d to be there so I’m just sitting there like an idiot and they even had a problem with that because I wasn’t smiling like a crazy person when we were together. Why the f would I be smiling ?!? I don’t know what you’re laughing at, let alone talking about .. just rude af. My husband would try to translate but it just got to the point that I

Felt like a burden being there bc then he couldn’t really partake in the conversation. This was also my first trip to Europe and we did NOTHING, we only did what his sister wanted to do, which was go to boring old buildings. The one day we went to the beach she didn’t bring swimsuits for the kids so no one was allowed in thr water. Instead we hiked through the woods in 40 degree (c) like ducking animals… I pretty much begged him to take half a day and go to the waterfalls and his sister threw a tantrum saying they live so far apart and how dare he even think of doing that and that I’m being selfish trying to keep him from his family. It was a 19 day vacation…. I didn’t get so much as a lunch alone with my husband so I could actually have human interaction that didn’t require subtitles . I hate that this is my life every summer. And we live in Canada so we look forward to the summer but now I dread it bc every summer they come, drop a bomb on my marriage and then we spend the next 4-5

Months trying to recover from it. And I think they know this and enjoy it…

What culture are they from because this is just rude? Honestly I wouldn't be trying to have another baby with a man that cant defend you and is happy for you to be disrespected like this. I also wouldnt let anyone stay in my house for any longer than a few days- I think honestly you may have a big decision or ultimatum to make for your future cause your husband is not your partner. What grown man cant wash a dish that's laziness nothing else