Should in laws who have treated me horribly have contact with my kids if I’m no contact?

Nope! Can’t treat their Mama right, they don’t deserve contact and it would be the same if your parents didn’t treat your husband right. My MIL isn’t kind to me and we go extended periods of time without contact with her due to this. We do provide opportunities to see if she’s changed but if she hasn’t we go back to no contact. I don’t feel like your kids should be exposed to people that can’t respect their parents. We have a 1, 2, and 5 year old plus twins on the way. Our 1 year old is my MIL’s first biological grandchild too—our other two kiddos are adopted. No one, no matter relationship to you or your husband are entitled to have access to your children. As parents, it’s our job to make sure they have positive relationships and see the appropriate way to treat others. Our kiddos don’t even call my MIL Grandma, we let them decide and they don’t have a relationship with her because she couldn’t be nice to me and doesn’t try to be.

Absolutely. Your children do not need to see the mistreatment. I'm forced to let my mom see my son at the moment due to her being his CPS guardian but after I get him back she's loosing her visitation rights because she won't stop disrespecting my husband (my sons father) and uses our son as a playing piece against us because of her negative feelings about my husband. I don't care if they are the grandparents, aunts/uncles, or what they are to the child if that person or people can't show respect to you or the other parent they do not need to be around the child it's just teaching them bad habits and will eventually teach the child/children to disrespect you guys in the long run because kids are big on the monkey see monkey do because they learn from everyone around them.

Your kids need good role models and if someone is treating you badly in front of your kids it sets the wrong example. Keep the no contact.

I can't leave my kids with someone I don't even trust around ME. The kids are an extension of you, if the issue is that bad then they'll turn your kids against you too. Or mistreat them since you're not around to intervene. Nope.

Nooooooooo! I wouldn’t. Your kids don’t need to be poisoned by those people.

You are the female role model for your babies. Do you want them to learn to accept being treated badly? Or want them to learn they are worth more 💖

No.. treat their mom right or don’t be around them.. Idc how much love someone says they have for your kids.. if they don’t treat you right then they don’t want a relationship with them.. how does that work? How could you not expect them to treat your child a certain way

Other than your husband, if he has to. Your children shouldn't be in contact with anyone whom you deem unsafe for you. I have to add, for the sake of your mental health, you set a boundary and tell them, if they can't be polite, then they can't see the grandchildren. One chance of being rude to you and you tell them that it's not what you want your children around

I agree with all these mama's. I ended up cutting ties with my mom because she doesn't treat my kids right, hasn't since I got with my husband and when given the chance all is swept under the rug. It's definitely a hard decision but we don't have time for toxicity. I match the energy of others.

I wouldn't let my kids see someone that openly treated me poorly. They could mistreat the kids if they view them as an extension of you. Alternatively, they could try to turn the kids against you if they see more of their own kid in them.

It depends if they talk badly about you around the kids or treat them poorly. If you think they would be positive in your kids' lives, it won't hurt anything and may bring you closer.

Call them out straight up. Tell them if they want to act like children and disrespect you then by god they don’t get to see your kids! People like that who don’t like you will just try to poison their minds as they get older. Just like how they bad mouth you to your husband, which I hope he is also no contact or at least is standing up for you

@Chrystal it they are talking badly to the husband then they will have no problem talking to the kids like that when they are older or it might even just start as side remarks but if they have no respect for you now having a child won’t change it

Strong believer of if you can’t respect the mother (or either parent) you do both have access to the child.

Personally, I would allow them to see their grandparents because at the end of the day it sucks to be the kid in that situation being denied access to family bc of disputes like this. If you’re husband is in contact with him family, it is only fair to your child. I understand it sucks when you don’t get along with your in laws , but think of your child and how they may feel about not knowing the other side of their blood lineage because you guys couldn’t get along. My mom would tell me to take the high road because it’s not just about how you or the in laws feel, it’s about your children. They should not be disrespecting you in front of your children though (or at all really) but that should definitely be in the conversation you need to have to set boundaries. I would go from a humble POV where you prioritize the kids mental health and them seeing you treated like shit vs you just doing it out of spite.

Here’s how we’ve done it: my mil came to our house screaming at me while I was pregnant and sent us to the hospital for a mc scare. She’s never accepted responsibility and she never apologized even after giving her a 2nd chance when our daughter was 9 months old. It went great-until my sil had a baby boy. He’s the perfect kid in their eyes, and here’s the thing, she has NEVER looked at my kids like that and they haven’t asked to see our 3 month old AT ALL but they see that baby every weekend. I grew up knowing my mom loved me less than my siblings bc of how she looked at me and treated me, my girls will NEVER know what that feels like no matter what your title is. So we’re done for good now.

Nope