Am I/the situation the problem

So long story very very very short—-so I am the main parent in the household always have been for both boys (1 + 3). My partner is a director of his own company ( recently started another one different industry) no work life balance and no support and if you broach the topic it’s guns blazing, no one knows his job etc. now don’t get me wrong supporting family to pay bills etc it’s an important role but I work too and it’s his decision that he doesn’t want me to contribute (but yet he throws it in my face in arguments). Anyway my biggest p is the ‘hiding away’- he’s always got something to do or needs a few minutes (turns to hours) he might as well live in his office or home office-and on some occasions he’s caught sitting on his phone when he’s meant to be working but mention this and he will just throw it in your face that I was getting stressed at the kids (come and help instead of listening and then criticise). Recently he’s come out with he is stressed and suffering anxiety (this is why he doesn’t go out with us as a family anywhere). Now I’m not an expert and don’t understand anxiety but surely you going to work l, shopping when it suits you, shows that your lying or just trying to get out of being a parent. I do occasionally make odd comment about why there’s no effort but have learnt my lesson to avoid slagging matches, in addition to no longer caring ( I’m making memories). I’m just wondering how do I act/what am I suppose to do -he’s an Argumentive person so won’t always take things how they should (misinterprets, hears what he wants to hear etc). He’s also the type that will not try and help himself -he’s also quite a hyper cobdriact with things. Forgot to say- I absolutely love being a parent but sometimes I think this love is just taken advantage of and not in a good way