Falling asleep and mum guilt

You are a good mum mistakes happen, my partner is the same in terms of not helping during the night. Please try not to worry too much

No offence, but your partner is an D head You are not just caring for your baby, your also healing your body after a trauma. I don't know if you gave birth naturally or had a c-section but either way your body is not as strong as it was before and you need proper support

Omg it’s not easy to stay awake in the slightest!! Please don’t feel guilty you are not the only one!! I have definitely done it. I would just look into safe co-sleeping so if you do fall asleep with him you have prepared the area so you don’t need to worry.

My pediatrician told me that if I'm breastfeeding tired (like in the middle of the night) I should do it laying down on my side with baby doing the same while facing me. It's safer this way in case you fall asleep. There's a higher risk of falling if you have your baby in your arms while breastfeeding and you fall alseep. Learn about the safe sleep 7 for cosleeping, even if you are not cosleeping you should know what are the safety measures. Know that it will get better and you are not alone.

Distraction is key! It’s sooo hard to stay awake, as much distraction as possible, TV, phone etc, something to keep your attention. also, my midwife told me to look into safe side lying feeding and safe co sleeping, as it’s better than accidently falling asleep with them and may be necessary xx

Cosleeping is defo an option. It didn't suit us though- I have a rocking chair in the nursery to BF and I read or listen to audio books, or even do shopping/admin to stay awake! It gets easier in terms of recovery and being able to actually rest in the day. But I think a frank conversation with your partner about the reality of caring for a baby is needed ❤️

You can safely sleep with baby on your chest, there’s loads of information online. Done safely there should be no guilt,personally I co sleep with my breast fed baby and it’s suits us perfectly no getting up in the night and good nights sleep for me and baby!

I would look at tips for safe co- sleeping. I have always slept with my little boy, I just make sure we are in a position where he is safe. In terms of your partner, that's not an ok, If possible it'd be worth talking to him about it. But 100% don't beat yourself up, your baby is OK and many of us have done the same.

Your partner is a dickhead. If he can't deal with it, then tell him to sleep in another room! My ex did this and honestly I loved it! My fiance now doesn't, but I do tell him to wear earplugs so he gets better sleep for work. I've fallen asleep many times with baby on me, but now when i feel myself drifting off I put her down in her crib to avoid this happening. You are not a shit mum!

Sit uncomfortably, cold water, a snack, headphones with loud Netflix/music/podcast/audiobook and keep yourself cooler too

We bed share and even though Lg is poorly and had a 2 hour wake up last night we still got stretches of 5 hours and 4 hours. It can be done safely x

@Emma my baby is poorly aswell so he’s just so unsettled the only way he’s calm is on me he screams until he’s sick :( so I’m going to look into safe co sleep just until he’s a bit better

If you are bfing then look at co-sleeping and laying down latch, honestly I started doing it at 3 weeks and it's made such a difference in my resting and anxiety I would fall asleep with her in my arms.

Have you looked at bed sharing whilst breastfeeding? It’s more ideal if you do it when ur partner isn’t in bed (do during the day naps) but it’s essentially a breastfeeding position where you lye on your left or right, place bsby on their side facing you and then attach them to your lower breast. This article is a little long but I would highly recommend reading. If talks about bed sharing, co sleeping and the facts about SID’s risks. There’s also a video demonstrating how to breastfeed when you bedshare at the end. https://laleche.org.uk/safe-sleep-the-breastfed-baby/#:~:text=Breastfeeding%20mothers%20who%20bedshare%20get,1%20and%20breastfeed%20for%20longer.&text=Alternatively%2C%20co%2Dsleeping%20may%20give,same%20sleep%20surface%20as%20you.

“Breastfeeding mothers who bedshare get more sleep than bottle feeding mothers and breastfeed for longer” altimatly though this is your decision. I only do this when I’m exhausted (can’t keep eyes open) and it’s during the day when partner isn’t in bed or at night when partner is working a night shift and I’m exhausted. And don’t ever think you’re a bad mum. You are a wonderful mother, look at everything you’re doing for your child! The bad parent is your partner for not forefilling his roll to care for you when you need it and offer a helping hand where he can

If u ever need a chat my DM is always open

@Cristina I didn’t have a c section but I had an episiotomy and a second degree tear. Which ended up infected so I’ve not been well in myself at all since his birth I’m still on antibiotics now which has caused us (me and baby) to both get thrush so baby is unsettled aswell. It’s so hard doing everything I’m lucky if he changes one nappy a day :( doesn’t burp him doesn’t get him dressed because the baby cries doesn’t do dishes or cook it’s all down to me. And I’m sick of it.

I have been there, without the infection part though. I wasn't able to sit up couldn't move my legs a lot or take baby out of the next to me so I just pulled baby close to me facing me and put one of my breast his mouth while I layed on my side that way I didn't even had to take them out and move a lot. It my sound ridiculous but I did what I had to what I could do.