Struggling to connect

I’m currently 36weeks +5 and really struggling to connect with the baby. I just don’t feel the bond that I expected to feel, I just feel like myself with something moving about in me. It’s causing me to feel a bit distressed about it, and I worry that this feeling might remain or get worse when baby arrives. I haven’t even been able to pick out names, as I just don’t feel that connection. Has anyone felt this way? Or feeling this way? Do you have any advice?
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Yeah I felt like this, in fact I use to refer to him as this person, the good doctor at the hospital made sure I got a mental health nurse to speak to( I don’t think it helped). However when he was born, I cried because the connection I didn’t feel when I was growing him I felt immediately. Maybe wait until your baby comes and it might help to speak to a family member, friend or even a professional about how you are feeling.

@Suliat thank you for making me not feel alone in this ❤️ I will mention to the midwife next week when I go

I wouldn’t worry. I’m not a fan of being pregnant at all- didn’t really connect in the slightest whilst pregnant and looking after a toddler too I mostly forgot to even talk to bump etc all of that. Sure he heard me talking to toddler and partner enough😂 anyway soon as he was born instant connection. Don’t stress about it xx

I would not worry. Even after birth it took me a while and I cried so much as I thought I was a bad mum for not falling in love with him instantly but now I live him so much. Do not feel guilty, society puts even pressure on mothers as it is.

I didn’t connect until baby arrived and even more so when I got to know him. I think it’s really normal! I actually chatted to the midwife during my labour about the same worry! It hasn’t been the case at all and I’m completely in love with him! Only advice is know that it’s totally ok and also ok to not have an instant rush of love when baby arrives too as some of my friends have said they didn’t!

I didn't feel connected at all during pregnancy. I have the most perfect bond with my baby now. Don't put pressure on you. It's totally normal 😊

I hated being pregnant. I didn't feel connected either. I was in awe of the process and the fact that my body could make this baby from scratch 😂 but I didn't feel connection. Name picking was hard too. We decided on a name like a week before I was induced. The moment she was born I felt the connection. Something just clicked for me. So don't stress about it. You're not alone and everybody has a different experience.

I think it’s more common to not like pregnancy then to be one of those online moms that raves about it. This is totally normal, and you shouldn’t feel like it means you won’t bond with your baby. Which in fact, if it is how you still feel after the baby is born is still extremely common and there are resources for you to work through it if it ends up happening. Give yourself some grace momma, pregnancy, childbirth and parenting are hard as shit and does not look or feel the same for everyone 💖

I felt like this, then was so devastated and ashamed I didn’t feel that instant rush of love people tell you about when he was born… I’d say it was probably around 3months after he was born I really started to feel a connection and since then it’s only gotten stronger and stronger. I wish someone had prepared me that I’d feel that way and that it’d be ok in the end. I hope you’re able to get there too but please be prepared for it to take a while ❤️

@Rosie that’s really great advice. I’m glad your bond came in the end. I hope I’m the same

I didn’t connect with my baby before he was born. I didn’t want to get too attached and have something go wrong. I guarded my heart. It took a couple of weeks after he was born to get there. My husband was smitten right away and I felt bad that I wasn’t. My baby is now two and I can’t imagine life without him. I love him and he’s my little buddy. Don’t feel bad. It will come.

Completely normal, just ask for support if it continues once babe arrives ❤️❤️❤️

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