Feeling trapped

Normal

Where are you from ?

London

You are made to feel selfish by whom? Someone who doesn't go days between showers and regularly thinks more than two consecutive thoughts without someone asking for a snack? You are not selfish, and they have no right to judge. This is a hard time, but you will have friends and money and time to yourself again. Hold on to the people who believe in you right now and be open to the ones who have a change of heart after they have kids and go through hard times of their own. Join a mom's group. You need a new kind of support for this season of life.

You need mum friends Do you have a partner? Why doesn't he support you to have time alone?

This sounds like mom burn out. Even in committed relationships, as moms, we tend to take on the majority of the parenting, making up feel like a single mom. It's easy to lose yourself because the majority of your energy is committed to keeping those little humans happy and healthy. If you do have a support system, try to give yourself a break. Even if it's just for an hour or two. If anyone tells you that's selfish, they're toxic and don't deserve to be in your life.

My mother thinks when u become a mother that’s it you don’t have a life of your own it’s just for your children and my partner thinks it’s just a phase which it is as they are little at the moment so need more support and care but don’t think he does enough to actively help me have alone time I always have one child with me at all times.

Can you just ask say to them both can you have the Kids this time then you decide what you want to do for you even if it’s not much time , plan what you want to do in the time you have in advance so you can get on - it might be a nice walk , it may be going somewhere to get some peace by yourself or a massage , a cosey cafe to get a nice coffee , a interest you like . What do you like to do ? You can get burnt out when we do not get enough time to ourselves . Divvy the tasks - I have found a lot of people only work practically so say 2 hours Monday can you have the kids then you go and do something for you just ask ! Decide in advance so you don’t get to the time you have for yourself and think what shall I do - what would I like to do ? What lights me up ? It might just be a nice rest on your own , it often was for me . Slowly these things bring you back to you x

Still is often too haha :)

My mum don’t take the child and if she does there is no point as she will go on about it. My partner will say or agree to but then things come up and it mostly doesn’t happen so I have given up.