My Trump friend

She said she would donate to a charity. Then said she had. But she hadn't. She said she voted Trump the first time. Then when he started to do bad things in power, she denied voting for him. I suspect she voted for him again. I have no idea how to relate to her. She's nice, but I think like Trump, there's comfort in having money and a fundamental shallowness that speaks to her own shallowness. A performance of niceness is there and I think it gives her a sense of superiority though she'd be appalled if she thought people saw that in her (I think she thinks she'd well-meaning), but behind it all, there's just immaturity. I've always let things slide, but it kind of feels dangerous now if it just means people like Trump get in power again. By not challenging her, I feel complicit and maybe I haven't educated her to be better when I could have. How do you deal with Trumped up behaviour?
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@Angel what are your thoughts?

Its not your responsibility to teach her. Until they see a problem with their own behavior or Trump’s, they will not be open to “learning”. I personally wouldn’t be able to trust her so I wouldn’t consider her a friend. I would also challenge her because I am not ok with seeing someone lying, pretending, acting “nice”, and not calling it out.

Who’s her? I’m confused.

@Angel my Trump friend

It’s not your job to educate her, adults that voted for Trump are cognitively impaired or simply don’t care to do the research into what reality they’re actually supporting. I would suggest distancing yourself if it really bothers you, or inviting her to mutual aid groups that help out in your area, there’s some in mine (Denver) that provide food for the homeless immigrants and just by being in those communities she would likely learn so much more than you could ever teach her, and they’re full of organizers and community members of groups like Democratic Party for socialism and liberation and it could even lead to more outreach and events to get connected with, like free Palestine marches and sit ins :) when you’re in the maga cult so deep like that you cannot just snap out of it, it will be a long process

So like a friend of yours! Ok. I didn’t know there were a Trumped up behavior, anyways. And I support Trump myself. Be open about your views when these topics come up. You don’t have to go on the offensive, but maybe when she says something questionable for you, just ask her to explain why she feels that way. Sometimes people don’t realize the impact of their views until they really have to articulate them. Influencing her thinking isn’t entirely on you. Setting boundaries in the conversation can also protect your guys friendship. In the end, you’re not obligated to teach everyone around you.

@Angel I am open and she goes along with me, but like pretending she'd donated to a charity when she hadn't, she operates under her own sense of what's right, and that comes down to making the rules as you go along as long as it preserves your own self, like Trump and the behaviour that has landed him in court, whether that's for sexual assault or fraud.

Why do you want to be her friend of she's a liar and a fake?

@Danisha we were friends before the issues. I think politeness makes it hard to speak my mind.

Who knows what is going on in your friend’s mind with not donating to the charity. Maybe she forgot, maybe she can’t afford to donate to it right now. How are you able to know that she has not donated to it? I know that on some apps like Go Fund Me that you can donate anonymously. It sounds like you have a big heart for wanting fairness and honestly and those are valuable traits. I can respect that you appreciate those traits and want to see them in your friendships. Whenever I run into issues like that with friends I just kindly take a step back. Maybe this isn’t the season for that friendship.

@Tori there were no anonymous donors so that's how I know. But she actually said she had donated. She was vocally very supportive of Trump last time and said she voted. Then said she hadn't voted when he did things she couldn't defend.

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