Is my mom an asshole?

It is weird she doesn’t put any thought or effort into your gift. That would bother me

Also why would she ask you if you’re okay getting a random thing she got on clearance for Christmas? That sounds like she’s intentionally being hurtful

I’m guessing your sister being the youngest/baby of the family is the golden child in your mum’s eyes. That’s shitty that your mum doesn’t care that you know it either. It doesn’t sound like this is going to change anytime soon either as the pattern has long been established and your mum will just deny it anyway if confronted. Yea your mum is an AH in that respect. Like you said it’s not about the monetary aspect, it’s the thoughtfulness put behind the gift. I see you OP, you are not alone. Your feelings are valid and matter.

I knocked ‘yes’ while scrolling. I don’t think anyone is an asshole. Is it a case of your sister asking specifically for those things? Perhaps she’s not sure what you want. Pick something out and ask for it directly.

Maybe your mom doesn’t realize this? Maybe suggest things you like and see if she gets the hint. In the end though I understand you feel some way you have to stop comparing because it will only keep you in your feelings longer. Speak up with out accusing anything if its troubling you. Just maybe she feels that doesn’t matter to you or feels she has to go extra for her. Maybe your sister discussing her wants…

I've noticed since having kids people tend to get them gifts instead of me. Is that the case? Also, as others said maybe your sister is dropping hints.

Does she spend your “allowance” on your daughter? If you and your sister both get £300 then you have your daughter then £30 on you and £270 on your daughter. Thats what happened in my family. Now my brother has 2 kids so their budget is split 4 ways but mine only 3. O know a lot of people who do that.

So my sister lives with my parents too but doesn’t really work and has addiction and mental health issues so my mom actually buys her gifts for Christmas because she has no one else. My mom gets my brother and myself small gifts and gift cards because she knows we are married with a family that we can get spoiled from but even that is more thoughtful and planned out than getting something random on clearance. My mom also spoils my daughter and the baby I’m pregnant with so she helps out there a lot too

@Heather no definitely not. My daughter gets one small gift from my mom, this year it’s some jelly blox (£20) and it’s been this way long before I had my daughter

@Katie no my sister has a partner too, they just don’t live together yet

@Lanie yes possibly the case… my sister is a little spoiled (always has been) so she’s not bothered about asking for expensive gifts. But this year the expensive gift is a total surprise for her, she has no idea she’s getting it

I have 3 daughters, and forever more until the day I die they will get equal gifts from me. I don't really understand why it would ever be otherwise.

Well then that’s totally unfair

Talk to your mom about your feelings, maybe it's because she's around your sister more often, she's able to gift her nicer things because she knows her better since she doesn't see you as often?

Oright. I’d then just say talk to her

Do you have the same relationship with your mum than your sister has ? Sounds like deeper than just gifts difference ....she might not realising the difference of treatment so yes talk to her. My mum is the same with her nieces and me. I always had ok gift, sometimes stuff that doesn't even match my taste but always thoughtfully/ expensive gifts to my cousines. My mum and I have a complicated relationship but she admires her nieces since birth. I just ignore it