How materialism stole Christmas
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@Gabriella The idea of Christmas is different depending of your background. For some Christian’s it’s Jesus and the gifts that were brought to him. For others (mostly European) it’s St Nickolas and the donations he was giving to the people in need. For people that aren’t religious it can be getting the family together. I know many people that aren’t religious and celebrate it. Nothing is accumulated over time and I haven’t accepted it. My family is rich and we’ve never ever done real gifts. It has always been hand made small gifts as you’ve put your heart into making something special for someone. You know…it’s the thought that counts not your wallet. I married into a family that can’t care to ever talk to one another but require gifts (see nothing accumulated over time or that I’ve had to accept).
@Gabriella Also money isn’t really the problem it’s the greed which is a sin if you’re going to be religious. Yes I prefer to give a good Christmas to my kid, I prefer to pay off my house in 5y instead of 30y to save on interest. I prefer to have a retirement account and savings for bad times instead of buying things people will never use. There’s so many people that go in debt at this time of the year and it’s sickening.
This sounds like something specific to your family, honestly. I'd just say you're only doing small presents for the immediate family from now on. There's a cost of living crisis - anyone who objects needs to check themselves. We do small gifts for the adults in my immediate family (sister, parents, in laws) and that's it. These are also the people we see on Christmas Day. All other presents and activities are for my two children. We've tried to take the focus off the meal slightly in our house as my kids have a hard time sitting still for that long but I'm sure as the years go by that'll come back. I love Christmas food!
@Caroline I literally cried the first Christmas I spend in this family as it was so soulless. Our christmases have always been magical and happy with delicious 7 meals like the tradition, everyone laughing and the focus being on the family and traditions. Now it’s all gifts. Last year I hosted the holiday here and it was 1000 times better but I want to put more focus on fun traditions over presents and teach my kids that this is more important.
I think you're totally right in all of your points. especially that Christmas has been commercialized to death. also that people celebrate Christmas for different reasons, and it drives me nuts when people think that only Christians celebrate Christmas 🙄 if anyone has beef about not getting a gift, just kindly let them know that you love them but that your focus moving forward is on making memories together rather than material gifts. is it your husband that expects to get his family gifts, or the family members themselves? bc either way I'd be telling them no 😂 I do love your Christmas ornament idea also!
With my family we do gifts for the kids and a secret Santa for the adults. Work my husband's family we do gifts for the kids (usually a few gifts, clothes/shoes, toys, books), and a gift for his mom, brother, and sister. My family is larger and we don't really see the point of gifts for adults because for the most part I'd one of us wants something we can get it ourselves, especially since all of us can be particular about things. So a secret santa works, or one year we all went on a family trip around the holidays so we each paid for a different event or meal.
Your christmases sound very stressful. I only give gifts to immediate family and it’s always something special or meaningful. It’s kinda crazy for people you never interact with to expect a gift from you. I hope you have a better christmas this year!
Oh my gosh, that’s crazy! Definitely move towards less gifting as you said. My family is gifts for all kids (it’s only my 2 boys and my niece), my spouse, and my sister only…..if someone else “expected” a gift from me I would tell them that’s ridiculous and they can get over it. It’s about the family fun time and special moments for us here. You do you and keep your peace!!! 💜
We don’t celebrate Christmas, but my bestie’s family does. They give gifts to children in their family, and arrange a ton of games for everyone (the winner gets a cupcake/cookie). I’ve been to one of their Christmas and honestly it’s so so fun!
@Reva That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Make small Christmas traditions that get the family together. In my family we bake a Sun shaped bread and each beam (it’s a bun) has the chance to have a coin (brand new and wrapped for sanitary purposes). The first piece goes for virgin Marry and the houses Whoever finds the hidden coin will have luck all year. Or we bake a Cheese pie and in each piece there’s a hidden wish and as kids we couldn’t wait to eat our piece to find what wish we got. I love your idea about games with small rewards! I’ll definitely copy it. Thank you!
@Rebecca o we tried Secret Santa and it was a massive fail. :D We’ve just bought a house so dumped 100k down payment on it, 30k for a new septic and same year we did IVF for 40k and had a baby with milk allergy so had to pay 600$/m for super special formula so needless to say that year we were stretched financially and told our relatives that this year we won’t be doing presents. They seemed understanding and said ok and proposed to do Secret Santa…great we have to buy just 3 gifts instead of 43 (and yes they counted the baby). A few days later I was informed that we’re still doing normal presents for everyone and on top of that we’re doing secret Santa. :D so from needing to buy 43 presents we were informed now the number is 46. :D We got 3 teens for gifts 25$ limit. I filled their bags with my favorite cosmetics and spa things like lush bath bombs and so on that I bought on sale so if we ignore the discount it was like 50/60$ gift…I got a dollar store picture frame. :D
FYI, Christmas is now a secular holiday too. And if you ask my mom she’d say it’s pagan nonsense and she’s a Christian too 😂 But going back to the first post, my friends family is large and instead of giving gifts to all the adults they have each adult bring a gift valued at 50$ or 75$ and play a game with it like white elephant. Everyone takes great pride in trying to get the best possible gift and trying to get the best bang for the buck (respecting limit but open for rebates and door crashes sales!) It helps with costs and unnecessary consumerism. Some folks with talents give home made goods or small thoughtful items to each family member. Honestly I would prefer this way. 😁
We made it a rule In our family once you turn 18 no more presents unless it's something very small and meaningful rather than extravagant etc. My partners family are the same and it's a godsend. We still do presents for his grand parents but that's because they chose to still do presents for him and now me but again it's always something small and food based for them both.
Grown ass adults who you’re not even close with absolutely do not need gifts
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Once my sisters and I started having children, and/or in serious relationships, we naturally stopped spending. Every year we always say “just buy the kids” but we always end up buying eachother just a small token gift, like a £5 at most. I’ve capped what I’ve spent on my son at £50 and most has come from a local kids charity shop, so that £50 has actually gone a VERY long way!! Also it’s helped reduce the toys & clothes in the dump & the money I spent getting it has gone to CSSEF, which is a charity I love donating to. So to me, it’s a win win. I’ve spent £10/15 on each nephew and then £10 on my mum and dad, both with a handmade element from my son. Despite the presents I’ve bought him (mostly clothes tbh), I’m making a conscious effort to make Xmas about memories for my LB & I am going to keep going forward with my own traditions that I’ll start with him to make Xmas special while helping others. That’s what it means personally to me but everyone celebrates it differently xx
I think your "whole point" is actually incorrect - it's to celebrate Jesus' birthday 🤷🏻♀️ I think that at the end of the day, Christmas comes down to how you've decided to celebrate it. Everything you're saying doesn't just happen, it's accumulated over time and you've accepted it until you've now decided you don't want to (nothing wrong with that). Why do each of the gifts you give have to be at least $50? Why don't you introduce a secret Santa idea so everyone buys one gift only? As it seems as though money is your only issue, and if you were well off you wouldn't even be writing this...