Odd one

I feel the same as my baby is only nearly 3 weeks already missing my past life

It gets easier. You’re adjusting ❤️

You are not alone I struggle with this a lot. The worst part is feeling guilty for feeling this way (at least for me ). I don’t really think you’re selfish because you lost a part of who you knew for so long and I’m not sure if those people fully come back. It’s ok to feel this way. One thing I do tell myself is I’m stronger than I ever thought I was doing all I do for my little one

I think this feeling is far more popular than people realise. You are definitely not alone; I miss my relationship before baby as well as the other bits. It’s been bittersweet x

It's important to hold space for the grief, but moving forward towards acceptance is what will allow you to find yourself again. Its a different path for everyone, at 14 months pp I am just now starting to feel more like my old self, but I have recognized that nothing will ever be the same again. And I've learned to accept this and use it as motivation to find the best NEW version of myself. Your not being selfish, and I'm glad your voicing it. Write down how you feel, write the pros and cons of being a new mom. Just get it all out on paper if you can. And low key- 4 months is in the trenches (at least it was for me, lots of anxiety). Once your baby starts to engage with you more and your bond starts to grow it will hopefully help you accept the changes that have occurred.

Having your first baby is a major change and it takes a lot of adjusting. For the first few months, we don’t get much back from them and they require so much of us. Once they reach that sweet age when they can interact - smile and babble, start to sleep through the night but not yet walk, it’s so much fun. I promise you it gets better. Life is just different now and you learn to enjoy. Do I long for nights off? Yes. Do I long for my life before kids? Yes. Would I give all this up? No way!

What can't you do? Like I knowww it's not as easy but with planning you can go out for lunch, visit friends, go on holiday or even go to the pub! It just takes wayyyyyyyy more planning than before and yes much less frequent. You will never have your old life but you can adjust and make a new normal! It will all take time but try make some time every week for yourself and it maybe won't feel so overwhelming. Xx

I promise you it gets better. It’s a long road, but one day she will not be so needy and you’ll be more free to do other things.

I didn’t realise how tough it was going to be either, but honestly as they grow into little people (and start sleeping more) it becomes much more rewarding and you want to hang out with your little pal. But don’t get me wrong there are still very hard days! Hopefully your partner can share the load and give you some evenings to yourself.