AITA In Letting Go of Friendships?

Hey it's not about a romantic relationship so I hope it's okay, just need some feedback. My baby is 9 months, was conceived by a hook up who isn't involved so I've been a single mom the whole time and my small group of friends mostly doesn't have kids and are in more of a party/hangouts/having fun life stage. Please be honest (but kind) with me. Does it make sense to have walked away from friends who were judgemental about my pregnancy, friends who were only casual party friends before, friends who never "showed up" for me after my baby was born or acted like they didn't like her? Does it make sense to walk away from a friend who did used to be a good friend but made it clear they won't put in any effort to visit us or host us for visits or basically put any effort in to maintain a friendship when I had to move to a nearby city to avoid being homeless with my baby? (To be clear, the expectation on my end would be occasional visits, I don't expect anyone to be seeing us all the time). I've maintained a few friendships but walked away from a lot and I know a lot of people have a lot of negative things to say about me. But be honest with me - AITA? Should I be doing something different to try to hold onto the people in my life or did other people need to make a lot of new friendships after becoming a mom?

Show your support

Nope I gave up all my friends.

@Ashley Thank you. I wanted to check if this was normal because I'm being criticized pretty badly. Were you able to make some new connections?

The second I became a mum everything changed. I had zero tolerance for fake friendships. I’ve never been happier I have less friends but the ones I do have I know love me and my children and are genuine. Let go of the dead weight and don’t look back. Ur not the asshole.

I think everyone mum has experienced loosing friends after becoming a parent. Specially if you are first one in your group to become a mum. Just difference in priorities and responsibilities. Don't feel bad for letting go of relationships that don't serve you anymore. Your baby come first, and you come as a package deal anybod with a problem regarding that can find the exit door.

Thanks everyone. I feel like I'm being rational and I'm not even upset about any of it but I'm being treated like I'm doing something wrong or there's something wrong with me that I can't keep relationships. But the one friend who's supposed to be a close friend expects me to travel alone with a fussy baby several hours by train to another city to visit, then won't offer us a place to stay for the night. And won't make the trip to see us. And thinks I'm toxic for just not really talking to them anymore but I would put in part of the effort but would expect some reciprocation so my understanding is that they don't really value our friendship enough to put in the effort. I'm the one who technically ended the friendship but I sort of feel like they ended it and I just called it what it was? But it's good to have a reality check from others to make sure I'm not having a huge blind spot.

Awwh bless you, to me losing friends especially in this kind of situation only means growth, it means you are growing and your mentality and expectations are different. It's time you find people who are more mature, caring and understanding of your situation as much as you are of their's.

@Maggie thank you! That means a lot. That's how I'm feeling and where my mentality is.

I think loosing friendships comes with the territory of becoming a mom.

I could even finish reading your post before typing this…. Absolutely yes it makes sense. I don’t have any friends who don’t have kids either. They aren’t your friends. We made a new group of friends when we got involved with a church. All of our friends are married with kids and like 10 years older than us bc we’re young lol but it feels right bc we’re all on the same page in life.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌