Perenial massage- ow!!!

You may need to take it slowly. And possibly speak to your midwife in case there's a reason you're feeling pain! Good luck!

Get your partner to do it. I'm too much of a wuss if I do it 😂

Loads of lube :) and partner to help

I had the same feeling, but I tried to relax and used virgin olive oil.

Take it slow. I couldn’t do it myself so my partner did it for a week or so. That helped get me used to it. Then after that I bought the wand tool thing to be able to do it myself. It really is about a little at a time. Just one finger, a little bit, and then build up over the course of the week or so, you got this! And use oil!

Thanks so much for the replies! I’m glad others found it hard to begin with. I will persist!

I’ve done two so far and I hate them! Had my partner help me because I can’t see anything down there. He said that every time he tries to go inside it hurts me more, so he’s not even sure if he’s doing it right. We’re going to buy a wand and hopefully that’ll at least reassure us that any movements we are doing are correct and we’ll just have to work up to the bigger movements. Also haven’t had sex for a while, and usually when that happens (pre-pregnancy), it can be quite painful to start with. I mentioned using lube after last night, so I’m glad it looks like it’s a thing!

@Lauren def don’t do it ‘dry’!! Buy a special oil (I got the Expert Midwife one). My partner did mine with just one finger and gradually built up to inserting and stretching further over the course of a week. Then I got the wand to do it myself and again gradually built up how far to insert and stretch etc. it takes practice but I promise it gets easier.

@Alexandra oh no, I have oil, but it doesn’t seem to do anything! But I will try lube for sure. My partner says he can barely fit a finger in before I’m flinching, I think it’s defo something to do with not having had sex for a while. We stopped due to my painful PGP, and then the physio mentioned that the massages might be painful because of the PGP, so there’s also that

@Lauren what oil are you using? I think that makes a difference! TMI but I’ve always suffered with being quite tight and sensitive down there and with things like vaginismus so I totally get it! But I’ve had great success with this oil: https://myexpertmidwife.com/products/peri-prep-your-bits Also ive found putting some relaxing music on, doing it after a shower, and chatting to my partner during really helped just relax me until I got the hang of it with the wand myself

@Alexandra I’m using this exact oil! He just doesn’t find it to be slippery enough. I’ve just ordered a wand so I’ll see if it’s any easier with me in control. The smoother surface of it might be more comfortable than fingers, so we shall see! 🤞

@Lauren ohhh okay! Admittedly I use a lot of the oil at a time haha. Best of luck with the wand!

@Alexandra my partner covers his hands in it, it always looks really overkill but he says it’s not slippery enough! Hoping it’s one of those things that we can start slowly with and, with enough practice, it’ll just get easier