Newborn weeks and changing friendships
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Yes!!! My best friend has not spoken to me for my whole pregnancy and I’m week 28 today…. I have messaged her with little response and I messaged her happy birthday today it was the first time she asked me how I was getting on with my pregnancy! …. We used to holiday together and everything
My girl is 6 months old. My friend of 20 years, who was my bridesmaid last year, had a rant about how shit is is that her mates are settled down and have a kid and she’s not where she wants to be at 36. Well, it took me 20 years to conceive my daughter and I refuse to feel bad that my life is better by comparison. If she wants to get in her own head and then alienate her friends for making good life choices that’s on her.
I noticed that people mostly just stopped talking to me. When i had my baby my friends were saying they were so excited and couldn't wait to meet her. Only 2 friends have come by to see me.
I don’t think you should feel any guilt, personally i think they are crap friends if that’s how they feel and it’s only been 4 weeks. I would tell them to even the playing field, for the next week only get an average of 3-4 hours sleep each night, keep themselves well fed and hydrated, if they don’t have a baby to set an alarm to go off every 2 hours and stay awake for an hour, cook and clean as usual, and keep on top of appointments. I’m lucky enough that my closest friends all check in on me regularly, even gone as far as having coffee pods delivered to my home, and calling or messaging to check I have eaten etc. my hack for the shower if my partner not home is to put a soft blanket in a laundry basket and laying my son in it so I can shower myself. You may end up loosing friends from what Is going on currently but your gaining some amazing unconventional survival skills 😂
True friends won’t care. They will be there through it all, kids or no kids. They will be the ones your kids call auntie. If the others fall away they’re not really your friend. Some will give you space and check in later, but friendship comes in all shapes and sizes. Don’t waste time on the ones that don’t matter
Generally I would say this is quite normal because it can be hard for those without kids to relate to this new phase of your life. Good friends will understand that your priorities are different and will be there when you are ready. Great friends will offer help or visit and will keep checking in even if you don’t respond for days or weeks. Friends complaining about this when you’re 4 weeks pp sound incredibly oblivious and self involved and not really ones I would want to keep.
Absolutely I struggled I maintain friendships with people that didn’t have kids and understand. I even struggle to maintain friendships with people that do have kids, because I’m so busy with my own child I really don’t have time for friends 🤷♀️ It’s more important for me to focus on my boy than friendships.
I'm deffo seeing some friends less but that was to be expected and they know that and so do I. No one has dared say I haven't been a good friend 😅 they are arseholes if they don't understand i appreciate some people don't have children but I didn't before mine and I wasn't an idiot 🤣 Tell them to F off or come and bring you some food and look after the baby whilst you shower if they want to be good friends!