I am in the same boat. Had my baby in February this year and I just turned 40. I really wanted having a second one, just don’t know where I could find the energy to do so. Other thing is the financial part, as we intend to travel to my home country every year (Brazil) e pay for 4 would be incredible expensive. For my hubby is a decision made but this broke my heart.
I’m not in the same boat but if I were in the same position I might try and do back to back babies. 😅 I’m on my 3rd and I’m 39. Personally I’m so drained and still have 3 months more, my last was 8 years ago and I can feel the difference. After #3 pops out its tubes tied and vasectomy because I wouldn’t want to go through this again unless I only had one baby (because personally I wanted at least 2.) If it helps factor in conception time and then add 9 months and your baby will be a toddler by the time you even give birth to a second, so that has to give you a tiny bit of relief of any. Wishing you the best on any desicions you make. 🫶🏾
Also 40 and had my first this year. I follow attachment parenting and the recommendation for that is longer gaps between kids to give each one the attention and connection they need to build secure attachment. I've decided I'm not gonna decide. I got an IUD fitted at my postpartum check-up, so the decision is deferred until baby is older. If it's too late, then it's too late.
I think it will be one and done for us. We don't have a support network around us (no family). Im 36 and after having my lg in April I feel like my body is 80 years old. Aches and pains. Even got a bladder prolapse a month or so pp so realistically I don't think I want to risk another pregnancy even though initially we did say it would be nice to have 2. But who knows, I might change my mind 😅
I was 39 having my first and he's just turned one. I always wanted 2 at least, but the whole birthing process was traumatic for me, emergency c section. It went fine but I found recovery terrible. I hated not being able to hold baby properly and do things for myself. Only feeling like myself maybe 10 months pp, still working on ab muscle separation etc. I'd love another but dread the whole process again, even though it may be a completely different experience next time around. I wish I had more time to choose also and let me little boy grow up more before introducing any more babies. I feel like he still needs me and relies on me/us to sleep, he's quite needy and demanding and I really don't know how we'd be able to split time between him and a new baby without struggling/suffering unless we had more help than we currently do. It's a shame as when he's older i would imagine he would like a sibling and I'm one of 3 so always had people around and someone to play with etc. It's really hard to decide what to do.
I'm 39 nearly 40. I'm one and done, I feel there is pressure on mums to decide when they have the next but I'm happy to be a one and done mum. Good luck with your decisions