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I mean balsamic vinegar can be really expensive..... but I get your point if it isn't your thing. How good is the vinegar? It should be gift grade... The last part of what you wrote is the worrying part.... that sounds weird about their relationship
@Josie it did help! I was annoyed then repressed it not wanting to make a scene only to bring it up in therapy which got me all stirred up again. This helps me regain the fuck it stance I had earlier 😅
It’s really so hard and it just sucks to be in this boat. It’s been about 2 years of mourning the in-law relationship I thought I’d have but I love this man so much and we are building our own family and that’s what’s the most important thing. They will learn that their actions towards you impact their relationships with him and your child too. Mine has distanced himself from them because of it and I can see they’re trying more but it’s still forced and that’s okay. You’re your own family but it is important he makes you feel heard and validated!
@Josie that’s amazing your husband understood your side and became a united front!! I’m hoping it will get better, I’ll have to have another convo with hubby at some point point-not looking forward to it as I’m not sure how he’ll take it. We’ve been together almost 7 years married 4- I guess it didn’t bother me too bad until we had a child of our own.
@Sarah I care more about thought than cost. If I were a balsamic enthusiast or mentioned it as a key ingredient for a new recipe, okay but I specifically asked her what she wanted since she is known to be…. specific in wants and this is her best guess for me after nearly 7 years? Why not just ask like I did ya know or again get nothing. It’s not really about the gift-like I said my husband got chocolate, but he is a known fiend lol It’s the lack of effort.
Oh I totally get that! I was just showing you that not only was it not a thoughtful gift but also pretty cheap so even worse
I would totally freak out if my husband wants to rub his sister s feet.... Sorry but to me the vinager thing isn't a thing. But this is odd.
If I recieve gifts I don't like, I regift :) some people are talented with giving thoughtful gifts, others do it because of the pressure that it has to be done. I've learned to just be thankful if someone wanted to give me a gift. If the gift giving seems unmatched, match their energy so you don't find yourself feeling you give more than you recieve IMO.
@Alicia true, good perspective!
The gift is impersonal because you don't have a personal relationship. You are (literally) related through your husband and child. Don't expect a thoughtful gift unless you've put in time to develop a relationship. Keep your expectations low and let your husband handle gifts for his family in the future. (If you want to be petty, though, get her the same candle 2 years in a row 🤣) The feet thing is weird... is that a thing from childhood, or is he just a grown man who wants to rub his sister's feet but not his wife's? 😬
I don’t like my in-laws and have the same thing but you’re only hurting yourself stewing over it. Your only options are accept their behavior for what it is and practice not caring or address it and set your own boundaries. We have done a combo of both and it took some time but my fiancé has gotten better with setting boundaries. In our case, it wasn’t him avoiding the boundaries to disrespect our family, more so, he cared more about our peace because he just doesn’t care what his family thinks so he took the path of least resistance. My future MIL has two daughters who aren’t that much younger than me, and we are all girly girls that like the same stuff but when it comes to gifts I always get socks and lotion. I just put it in the donation bag and move on bc I have accepted that our relationship is what it is and I don’t need her gifts or approvals because we are very happy without them. Idk if this helps but you’re not alone and the only thing you can do is protect your peace