Savings (Money)
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I’ve decided to set up an account for my LO so I can at least build something for her, but I keep having this conversation with my partner and it ends in a massive fight and we go back to square one 🙈 we used to always be so open about everything, but now somethings changed and I don’t know why 🙈
Some people don't value home ownership like others do, especially in Europe where most people rent anyway! You're going to need a substantial deposit, of at least 15%, so depending on your situation this could take years to save. This could be why he's not as bothered about it as you are? Why he would rather live for now, as the dream you want seems so far in the future, if ever achievable.
Are your savings joint? Might be worth putting your savings into your own account. “We have to pay it off” is the car for both of you or for just him? If it’s just him let him pay it off himself You are not being unreasonable at all
You're not being unreasonable at all. We were just forced to move out of our rented property as it's being sold, days before Christmas with a newborn baby. It was the most stressful thing I have ever done. Let him pay for the car if he wanted a new one. Renting is no good for families. I was in the middle of breastfeeding of a 3 week old baby, deep into PND with a neuro divergent step son who was already struggling with the change when the letting agent calls and says "you're going to have to look for a new property". This was 18 months into the long term tenancy we were promised and the landlord saying he wanted very long term tenants. Families need stability. Renting gives you none.
You’re not being unreasonable! In a relationship you want to work together towards joint goals. It sounds a bit like he thinks he’s still single going off and buying a new car without consulting you. You need to have a serious sit down and get on the same page about it. It’s not ok for him to spend your savings without it being a joint decision!
Not unreasonable at all. Not sure why renting in Europe is mentioned. Renting in Europe is so much more secure and tenants actually have rights. Social housing not sold off. The good news is that banks are now starting to offer 95% mortgages so it is possible with only 5% deposit and depending on your area. This is actually how I bought my first house. I agree the main issue though is you need a partner with similar financial goals to you in order to make it work.
Look at the ‘help to buy’ scheme from the government.
We made our accounts joint just before having our baby so all financial decisions were transparent and made together. Its been a godsend for us and really helped us to hold each other accountable! That being said, we haven’t been able to save at all really. SM pay barely covers the bills! We are also stuck renting. With the new laws (although its not ideal and as nice as owning) renting is relatively secure! xx
I had this problem til I opened up my own account.
Of course you’re not being unreasonable. You just want financial security for your family! I would be concerned to be in this situation too. There doesn’t appear to be transparency about your finances (in the sense that you don’t know where the money is going) and your financial goals aren’t aligned. Savings, even if not immediately for a deposit, are a wise decision if you can make it happen (even only a small amount every month) because life throws all sorts of emergencies or problems our way, and it’s nice to have it to fall back on if needed. Why doesn’t he want to save?!