Vent
My husband seems to have lost his mental clarity, he's been making threats of divorce, claiming he's only staying for the kids, and expressing a desire for space, and if possible, he would initiate divorce proceedings immediately, however, in NC, there's a mandatory one-year separation period, initially, I was saddened, but I decided to test his resolve, and essentially gave him permission to leave without waiting, now he's having second thoughts, I've lost interest in him, despite still having feelings for him, his hurtful comments have had a profound impact, and I've begun exploring other connections, I'm uncertain about the viability of our relationship, and I'm considering joining the military to regain stability for myself and my 2 children.
Focus on what you need to do. If military seems a good option, then go for it! If he wants back in your life then he needs to prove it, and you guys start your relationship back at Square one. Dating as if you never have begot. Get to know each other again and re-ignite that spark you used to have. If you go your separate ways, then it is what it is and you've got yourself set to take care of your kids. However, i don't know what the courts will say in regards to you getting custody since your be joining the military at this point in your relationship... they might lean towards awarding him custody too keep the kids in their "home" state.... i don't know for sure about that, just something to consider!