Is it wrong to gift your niece/nephew something you thought could be useful for their age?

Apparently I was supposed to clear it with mom first. She was offended and told me off and made it very personal and said that I should never gift anything without first asking her. I know me, as a mom, would appreciate anything anyone gives me or my baby because it’s a kind gesture and let’s be honest money is tight for us all and unless it’s a true safety hazard or something that is very inappropriate only then would I say no thank you and even then I would never come off the way she did to me (but who would gift something in that category anyway) I feel horrible and honestly makes me not want to gift anything anymore, let alone talk to her (the mom) ..which also means my brother and niece will have to be out the picture because she won’t let them go anywhere with any other family unless she’s there… which means I will have to keep my kid away from them all because of her and the way she came off at me. For backstory. It is my brother and sister in law and my brother was the one who told me what they needed, for potty training. I gifted based on his response and showed him what I would purchase. I’ve been crying all night and an emotional wreck being freshly in postpartum. Am I in the wrong?☹️

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I don’t see u did anything wrong. I personally don’t care to hang out much with my in laws but I deff let my bf and baby see them whenever they want.

You are not wrong. She sounds like she has personal problems. She sounds jealous and insecure if she's that controlling about her husband, your brother, even just going anywhere without her. You didn't just show up with some outrageous gift, it was something your brother communicated to you and you cleared it with him. It's not your fault if he didn't communicate it to his spouse. You have more of a relationship with your brother than his wife, you don't really owe her anything. Getting them a gift is very generous in itself. If it was that big of a deal she should have nicely asked about a gift receipt or asked you to return it. I'm sorry she's so ungrateful for your gift and you. I wish I had family for my son.

I've seen this many times in posts here in this app. People were complaining about their MIL because they were buying gifts for their grandkids without asking the parents first which I find ridiculous. I believe it's about control. Many don't want their MIL to interfere which I get, but they've become so sensitive about everything the MIL does that literally everything annoys them. Back to your situation: Your SIL might just be very sensitive to situations where she loses control. Doesn't have to be personal, could be though - I don't know if you normally have a good relationship. Or maybe she had done some research and wanted to choose the equipment herself. It's not like you have bought her clothes or toys of which you can have many. I wouldn't be upset about her. You wanted to be nice. Just forget about it. Not wanting to talk to her ever again is a bit extreme and you might only say this because you are very emotional yourself right now. Maybe talk to your brother again to find peace. 😊

I feel like it's on your brother a bit - he should give her the back story, and I think you deserve an apology based on that. You didn't mean to go "your child needs to be potty trained now" - but maybe your SIL thought what you meant without the background.

Maybe an unpopular opinion but potty training things shouldn’t be gifts. The child does not want that, and the parents probably felt pressure and are already anxious about this.

@tugba True, he should explain the situation.

I’m too grown to allow people to make me feel this way. I would just say okay cool and never buy a gift again.

I don’t think you are wrong but I do think you should explain that your brother told you what to buy and you thought you were being helpful. Now you know to ask her and not your brother.

She sounds like a bitch

@Shore I would agree with you if the brother didn’t okay it. Sounds more like a miscommunication between the parents not Incog’s fault

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