Best friend doing IVF, never met my baby

You are definitely not in the wrong for being annoyed, she’s your best friend, despite her own struggles she should be able to be happy for you and the fact she doesn’t want anything to do with your child is completely bizarre in my opinion! Also if she does get pregnant, will she expect you to be completely normal with her new baby? Will she decide then she wants to meet your son? Seems odd to me! Xx

You are not wrong in the slightest! I might be wrong for saying this but to me it comes across as not your best friend but maybe one of your friends you’ve had for the longest time Infertility is soul destroying so I completely understand that, what I can’t understand is how she can treat you & your baby like that It’s definitely a rock and a hard place for her but the love she should have you, should multiply for your baby Every baby is a miracle! & to not appreciate that is (to me) crazy This is my OPINION so I’m not saying how she should or shouldn’t act and as much as she is entitled to feel how she does going through such an horrendous time, YOU are entitled to feel hurt too A 20 year friendship is amazing & beautiful so maybe it’s worth communicating with her how you feel & go from there She’s told you how it hurts her & so maybe you should tell her how much it hurts you, then you could come together & it might make your friendship stronger than you ever thought possible!

I had ivf to get my little boy and struggled to conceive prior to that for 2 years. Although it's upsetting in the way that you want what they have and that adorable little bundle is everything you want in life. I would NEVER not meet my besties baby! And I was never upset that someone else got that little miracle in the way that it would make me that spiteful. I may have left afterwards and had a little cry but I would never do anything to make a new mum feel bad for having a baby, just because i was struggling to. Someone else having a baby doesn't stop you from having yours so it's never that person's fault. No advice because I think its your decision on how to approach it as only you know just how upset, angry and hurt you are but know that you aren't wrong to feel that this isn't right x

If that would be the case with me she would naturally not be my friend anymore. It would go against everything for me. I get that people struggle with infertility, it can be tough, i have a few friends like that, and i’d be there to support always but i wouldn’t be able to move past something like this. My baby is my world, no matter how easy it was for us to have him, friends (esp old ones) who do not want to be part (even the smallest part like meeting my baby and sending a happy birthday message!) of my baby’s life no matter how hard they find it are immediately not my priority. Maybe it sounds brutal but once i became a mom i would never put my friendly energy and time into someone who only prioritises their own emotional comfort and struggles to the point of basic mistreatment. Once i had a baby my whole life dramatically changed and it doesn’t matter how this baby came into my life, for real friends it would be so low to not acknowledge or be part of my baby’s life.

I have been your friend. Infertility is completely consuming. You are constantly on the sidelines of life, watching others lead seemingly uncomplicated lives and experiencing what you desperately want - something you contemplate day and night. Everything you eat,drink, do has the question mark over whether it’ll affect your chances. The reality is, being around others babies is excruciating. Talking about it is excruciating. What I can be sure of is what your friend is doing has nothing to do with you. It’s not in spite of you, it’s not in a disinterest of you or your son. It’s likely her way of surviving. In a 20 year friendship, one year is such a small amount of time. It’s 5% of your friendship. You are not in the wrong for feeling how you do, but she isn’t in the wrong with how she’s trying to navigate it all. My suggestion is that you allow her a little more time to see this next stage through of her journey. The last thing I’d recommend is tackling this while she’s doing IVF.