Change in your partner?

I have noticed a change in my husband as well, he mainly gets mad at himself and then calls himself stupid and stuff like that. It's really hard to see, but he acts like it's always been happening 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’ve seen this too. Sometimes he seems just mad at everything. Most times I understand he’s overwhelmed, it doesn’t help that our boy is 2 and is definitely going through the terrible 2 phase. But (idk if this resonates with anyone) I try to keep cool, but honestly feels like I’m raising two boys (one being my husband) & I burn out too but have to keep going because of mom guilt. My son is 2, he doesnt know better. My husband is overwhelmed. But the short fuse really gets to me.

If I remember correctly this is a sign of male ppd

Wow I’m just shocked it’s not just us. He’s in therapy now that we’ve had our second healing his traumas. Because I told him lose the ego or lose us.

I just got through reading “boy mom” about toxic masculinity and raising boys to have a full emotional experience- and I think our husbands really suffer from growing up in a world where they’ve never been given the tools or support to manage big emotions, and don’t have the social networks we as women reach out to and feel comfort in confiding in. My partner is going through a rough patch as we are expecting and has been in denial about it, but we’ve been talking about it a lot and I finally presented it this way- you may think you are fine- but this isn’t fine for me, and I want more for you, for us, and for the baby coming into our family. And he says he is going to go to therapy to sort through things now. But especially for men with little boys, I think asking them to model better for their sons and how men have the right to access and experience the full human emotional experience is powerful

@Morgan i would love this. Unfortunately he's too stuck in his ways to change... he will NOT even think about therapy because that's not what men do. And some of the stuff I feel hopeless on. I've told him I love you but our son will not act the way you do. Whether is ppd for him or not he doesn't want to fix it. His "fix" is getting to go play pool. But then he's "working" because he's playing tournaments and for money. Saying he never really gets a break, when reality I'm a stay at home mom that does EVERYTHING and I've asked for help. I get barley any for that day... if I forget things or get overwhelmed I'm an issue. But when he's in the bathroom I ask him to take the trash out which he has to walk by because I put it by the front door and he forgets it's no big deal.. 😓 but meanwhile when I say I do everything I mean everything...

@Morgan he will complain about not having clean socks but won't put them in his laundry basket or even do his own clothes... but his excuse is always "stress" and i have no reason to be stressed because I get to stay home... when in reality I stress about the bills also because it effects us too... sorry for more unloading. But this is just added on stuff.. this happened within the last year because we moved out of my dad's. But the anger has been there since before we moved. I do feel like since we have gotten our own place it has gotten worse. And I know it's effecting our son because I've seen him copy him which isn't okay. But we can't leave because I don't have a "job" and I really can't go back to my dad's and really can't go anywhere...

@Chelsea i honestly feel like if I said this to him it wouldn't really matter unfortunately...

Take a break, go to someone’s place where you can just unwind and relax for a day or three maybe more if you’d like and are able to, time apart tends to makes people realise what they miss

I hope your partner can come to his senses, it’s a stressful time for both of you sending virtual hugzz ur way!

Our first was a boy. I noticed the way he talks to him, since he was very small, was really not good. My son is 5 now and I’m at the point where my partner and I are simply at odds mostly because of the way he talks to/treats/disciplines our son. It had been a strain on our relationship because he won’t budge in his thinking and I will no longer stay silent. He treats our daughter completely differently. You are certainly not alone. If something feels wrong trust your gut. My biggest regret was not speaking up sooner.