It's not inappropriate, but it's not correct. Vagina is inside the body and cannot be seen. It's the canal that leads to the uterus. The labia and vulva are the terms that should be used. Also your husband is wrong. It is important to teach proper terms so there is no confusion if something bad happens.
Telling them the correct name is appropriate but for their age calling it something else makes it a little gentler. Cause I kid walking around talking about “vagina went pee pee” is a little rough on the ears compared to something softer. My mom told me that it’s a vagina but for teaching lessons and being a young age she always said cookie or something of that sort. “Never let anyone touch your cookie” “ask about your cookie” If we are speaking facts…vagina is the correct term because it is an umbrella term meaning that area of the genitals and what’s included such as the labia and those other parts.
I think it’s perfectly appropriate to teach them the proper names. It also helps if, heaven forbid, something bad happens and they need to tell someone. If they say “so-and-so touched my *cookie*” people might just brush it off.
my daughter is 2 and knows the correct name for everything - no sugarcoating anything
Say noonoo (nunu) or moomoo
We both tell my son it’s his penis no reason to make it shameful at all
The correct name is actually vulva vagina is the canal the babies come through to be born in a vaginal delivery But absolutely teach the actual words
So probably say privates as the general area, to speak of it in general, but like if something hurts or is itchy definitely ask her to point to where if you're not comfortable with the actual words yet, but she needs to be able to communicate with you when she feels like something isn't right also , so in that aspect also definitely get her comfortable talking with you about her body
But definitely explain that there are a few holes there and one is where babies come through and one is where pee comes out of
https://www.arnoldpalmerhospital.com/content-hub/how-and-why-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-their-private-parts#:~:text=Child%20development%20experts%20say%20that,to%20teach%20them%20the%20names.
So the suggestion here is to start talking to them about their private parts at 3 years old
My kids are taught the appropriate word vagina/penis. They are the easiest words for them to use and for me to know what they are talking about. Of course when they are older they were learn about the actual specifics but now I keep it simple
Always teach them the proper names because God Forbid something happens to them and they don’t tell you but someone else who doesn’t know what code name yall use, they won’t understand. Like the teacher who didn’t realize what the little girl was saying when she said her uncle licked her cookie and her teacher told her it’s good to share her snacks 🤦🏽♀️ there’s no shame in knowing proper anatomy parts of your body. Just explain the correct time to use the words and the only ppl allowed near it like a dr
We use the terms Vagina/Penis and Butt or bottom for their butts obviously. 🤣 my favorite though is that my 4 yr old sounds vaguely like Donald Trump… My China 🙊🤣
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My husband and I had the same talk and his reaction was about the same as your husband.. and I explained that if my son god forbid was being forcefully touched and shouted out stop touching my “titi” no one would know to help him or what he is talking about unless they are from the Philippines… so I taught my 3-year-old the correct term anyways and we still use our terms st home but it was a tough conversation to have with my husband 3-year-old was a-okay with it lol.
Ttgr
So if your kids ever in a horrible situation they’ll ask what they touched. If they say a word that’s not close to what it is a lot of times they throw it out. That’s all I have to say on the subject.
research and expert recommendations support teaching children the correct anatomical names for their body parts as a protective factor against sexual abuse. A study published in the Journal of Child Sexual Abuse (2012) found that children who know the correct names for their body parts are more likely to disclose abuse. A study by the Canadian Centre for Child Protection found that many abused children do not report incidents because they lack the vocabulary to describe what happened. Research in child psychology indicates that using euphemisms for genitals can create shame or secrecy, making children hesitant to speak about inappropriate situations. A study from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) showed that children who know the correct terms provide clearer, more credible testimony when abuse cases are investigated.
I teach my daughter proper terms.
Absolutely teach the proper words. Do NOT use cutesy code words. It's so, so, so important for so many reasons that they know the proper terms for parts of the body. A few reasons just off the top of my head; 1. Hygiene. They need to know what things are, where they are, and how to keep them clean and healthy. - adult women don't know the difference between a vagina and their labia and vulva and some don't wash down there because they have been told the vagina is self-cleaning. 2. As they grow up into teens and adults, it helps them understand and practice safe sex. Lowering the risks of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. 3. Trust in you. If you are open and honest with them and don't treat these subjects as taboo, then your children will be a lot more likely to be open and honest in return. They will feel safe coming to you with questions, concerns, and advice. This will also aid in their self-confidence and self-esteem. 4. To protect against abuse....
People are less likely to assault a child if they know that child has the vocabulary to defend themselves, and God forbid something does happen. They can clearly say, "x touched my vulva," which will hold a lot more weight than "x touched my cookie." The more confident a child is about and within their body, the more confident and safe they are as a person.
Both of my kids know the correct term (5yrs and 2yrs). There was a case at my eldest school a few years back where a girl called it ‘cookie’ - she went to school and told her teacher her uncle was touching her cookie and they had no idea what she meant, turns out the girl was being sexually abused. Please please teach your kids the proper terms.
@Cris my son is half filipino. We've been teaching in both languages. My MIL looks at me like I'm insane when she hears me say "now you wash your penis...."
I am teaching “private parts”, because it’s more accurate. Vagina is only the birth canal - it is not an accurate term to describe the entirety of the external female genitalia
I tell my toddler about her vulva and privates interchangeably
Weve always used the correct anatomical terms with my 8 yr old and have begun doing the same with my 2 yr old. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with calling things as they are
Use the correct terms, ALWAYS. Do not use cutesy terms, no matter how the correct terms might sound coming from a little one, it’s best for them to know the actual terms.
I think because bodies have been sexualized the word punishment or vagina, labia, clit makes some people very uncomfortable because they equate it to just a sexual organ instead of as a body part like any other. We use the correct terms. We don't give nicknames to them. We explain what we're doing in the bath while cleaning and why. While doing a diaper change we explain what we are doing always so that, if for whatever reason someone else has to do a diaper change she knows what to expect and what is not normal for a diaper change.
Proper anatomical terms in our house. “Vulva” “vagina” “urethra”
My son is almost 4 and ive taught him the proper/correct names for both private parts 🤷♀️ I would rather have my children knowing the proper names for their parts for safety reasons as well as there's nothing wrong or "taboo" about literal names imo.