Potty Training / Discipline

I’m at my wits end I’m not sure what to do anymore. My 4 y/o daughter, who has autism (between level 1 and 2 if that matters) isn’t potty training and even worse doesn’t understand discipline. We always had trouble with getting her poop toilet trained. She has gone back and forth with success and accidents for a long while now and just seems to be a coincidence when she does have a success. She never asks or goes on her own. Now we’re regressing on the pee toilet training and I thought we finally figured it out. She soaked through all her clothes and the couch and didn’t even care she was wet. I’ve got my 15 month old still in diapers and I’m due with my third baby in less than 2 months. My daughter goes to a special preschool for her autism but she’ll age out at the end of this year and I can’t send her to kindergarten not potty trained, nor do I know how’d I’d manage homeschooling with two much younger kids. I have no idea how I’m supposed to toilet train her at this point. I’ve tried explaining it and talking about it with her until I’m blue in the face. She only repeats what I say back to me with no understanding of what it means. I’ve tried every disciplinary action I can think of within reason. Time out, taking away tv, treats, toys. I’ve tried incentivizing her successes again with treats, toys, tv. Nothing works. It’s been years. Idk what I’m doing wrong. It’s hard enough cleaning up after her while I’m 7.5 months pregnant. And no, I don’t have support outside my husband who works full-time. He does the best he can, but he also needs to make a living as I’m a SAHM. Thanks for reading, idk what I’m looking for. Advice maybe if you have it, mostly to rant though I think. I just feel like a failure. I’m tired and frustrated, on the verge of tears often.

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Sending love. I'm not sure where you are but our 4 year old is in Kindy and still not 100% with toilet training. At Kindy in Australia they can still manage that. He had three days lastq week and insisted on wearing underwear. But he had quite a few accidents on the way there and the way back. And refused to go to the toilet at Kindy so he's ended up with a bladder infection we're currently treating. All this to say I feel you. Its hard. But the pressure isn't fully on yet if Kindys where you are work the same as ours. Our 4 year old wants to wear a nappy today at Kindy and that's fine. One day at a time.

I have a 5 year old in diapers not caring about being wet or poops either. Like my son it sounds like she's just not ready yet. I would quit trying for a month, find a new strategy and try again. It can take a really long time to potty train autistic kids, like some aren't capable of understanding until 7 yrs old. But where I live, they have special needs classes in the school system, so he doesn't have to be potty trained when he goes to kindergarten, you don't have that near you? Another option is ABA therapy. They may help with potty training, or help with her in general if you can't place her in a school. Maybe you can look into her health insurance providing respite care if she'll be home with you all day and you need help with her. Another option is a regular daycare/preschool that takes kids past 5yrs old. They're not allowed to deny her bc she's not potty trained.

I was you a year ago heavily pregnant and trying to potty train my 3 year old who is now 4 years old. We failed and he is still not potty trained, also facing a change of schools this year and he is still not potty trained, he also doesn't eat independently. One day at a time, focus on your pregnancy first. They take time. Love and self care for you.

My son is almost 3 and still not potty trained he’s also autistic and doesn’t understand instructions so I have to be understanding of that and find a way that works for us. I understand it can be frustrating but you need to be a bit more sensitive to her her brain works completely different than ours

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