Trying to find my spark

It’s tough! I have a 4 month old and I often feel like I hardly have a life. It’s a weird feeling of complete joy, but also I feel like sometimes I’ve lost my freedom. I think we are still somewhat in the harder days, I’m believing. It gets easier!

Couldn’t have said it any better, I am on the same boat :( I honestly don’t even know who I am besides being a mom and wife

Aw I'm sorry you're feeling this way. There's a lot of pressure to sacrifice everything for our children I think... But that doesn't lead anywhere good for us- and probably them too. Is there anything else you used to do that you miss doing now? What do you feel insecure about with others? I'm not sure how old your child is- I think especially at the beginning it's particularly hard to adjust to this massive change- I didn't do much for months and have only started doing a bit more now (my little one is 5 months old)- I haven't managed to incorporate any regular exercise apart from walks!

I haven’t had my son yet but I feel the same way. I feel selfish to complain about my life because of how blessed I am to have my family and a supportive husband. However I literally cannot recognize myself. I miss the woman I used to be. I know she’s gone now. Please be kind to yourself and know you’re not alone. I believe one day that spark will return.

To be honest. It has taken me a long time to feel normal again (and then I’m back to being pregnant lol). Motherhood can be isolating unfortunately. Are you able to arrange some outings with and without your baby just so you see and socialize with other adults? The exercise is a good start!

Think about taking up some sort of hobby that allows your mind to stay busy as well. I did a book club when my child was a newborn

I could’ve written this myself! Reading has helped me so much along with exercising. I use to have a thriving career and adult convo everyday, I feel like I’ve lost my social skills.

You have to find a hobby. Something inside where you can sit there and just spend some time doing it, gardening, nails, skincare, and something outside of the house you go to once a week where you’re either learning something or doing something you love. Need to make some time out to see sisters or friends as well. Because sometimes I want to be around women not kids and just talk and eat and laugh and giggle and dance. Dress up wear heels he does the bedtime routine and I come home late, tired but refreshed.

I’m the same way, idk what to do.

Go to the library with your child. Maybe you will find other moms there, and you guys can create a mom group w/ play dates for your children so you get time to socialize, too.

Why don't you feel like yourself anymore? You are a mom. But you are also many other things. In life, we have different phases where we focus on specific things. We never have the time to do everything we'd like to do. All the facettes of our personality need to take turn in life. But you are still yourself, it's just another part of you that is dominant for the moment, in this phase! It doesn't mean that there won't be other times where you can focus on other things again. You didn't lose anything, you got to meet yourself as a mom. You are still a student, a teacher, a friend, a dancer (or whatever your hobbies and jobs are), but additionally you're also a mom. Don't see it as a loss, instead recognize what you've learned about yourself, be proud of the new skills you've acquired. That's how I see it. 🥰

And dates. We must set time aside to reconnect and spend with the person who helped make those kids, who we loved first, who’s made us a Mum. Before the kids, it was just you 2. So make sure to spend some time out and have dates also that helps me connect w myself also. To be me for the night, the person he fell in love with (and vice versa)

Could've written this myself. Used to be a social butterfly too and now I'm not sure who I am besides being a mum and wife..they do say it takes a while upto 2 yrs for hormones and all to regulate and us to feel ourselves again so don't be hard on yourself mama...

Thank you all, reading your comments helps me have a new perspective and I don’t feel as alone.

Take your time It takes

I am in this stage right now and we are around the same age. I always feel like I’m doing everything for everyone else and it’s so hard to lose yourself with it.