I feel pissed off and mum guilt at the same time, argh

So yesterday we went to the beach and when my partner was going towards the ocean our 1 year old would cry and want to go with him.. and he was crying last night in bed, my partner consoled him back to bed. So this morning he says to me if i cuddle our baby enough? Like wtf?! And that im on my phone alot when he has his days off. I told him i cuddle him alot and that because i didnt co-sleep with him when he was younger and is sleep trained..he then goes on saying i dont do anything, like during the week i read to him, play with him, dance with him and teach him new things on a daily! I am beyong livid as to why he would even imply this 😔 now i feel like a shit nother and not doing enough to my partners eyes

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You definitely aren’t a shit mother lovely trust me. Men see what they want to see. They will guilt trip you into anything just to make you do everything so they don’t have to do nothing. By now, I’ve learnt that way & my partner doesn’t get that control anymore! They don’t see us cause they don’t pay attention to us doing everything! You are a great mum I’m sure!! Don’t let him get you down! My inbox is always open! 🩵

It’s easy to judge when they aren’t around. I’d be passive and send multiple videos a day to the point of annoyance just to show all the stuff I do with her

I think the father is trying to make you feel bad because he can’t settle the child himself: that’s why. He deep down knows you as the mother have the best bond with baby, and he feels guilty/jealous that he doesn’t so he will try to make you feel like how he does. You’re doing great.

Okay when I read it, I thought it was your partner wondering why your 1YO is seeking him out more and not you in those scenarios and wrongly concluding it's because you are too preoccupied and spend a lot of your time on your phone. After reading the comments, I honestly don't see what some are suggesting from what you've written.

my lo does the same sometimes. I don't work and my partner works full time (sometimes from home but is upstairs for the vast majority of the day) She seeks out her dad because she misses him. Nothing else, I am very present with my LG and the only thing I can conclude is she misses her dad because he isn't here as much as me

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