Is it me
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You have to be very careful about recording any kind of conversation as each state has their own laws. I know my state requires all parties’ consent unless in a public place (which someone’s private vehicle is not). I agree with 🍄🟫🍄, stopping the rides or recording conversations is not going to give you any peace of mind as if something is actually going on between them they will just find other ways. I say deal with the trust issues and have another conversation about how you feel about him giving his coworker a ride. Make sure you are able to remain calm and rational during the conversation and focus on how you feel about him giving her a ride and how you feel about him dismissing your needs/feelings; stick with “I statements” as much as possible (ie when you laughed at me when we talked last it made me feel like my needs don’t matter and hers do) Maybe even suggest a get together that you can see how they interact together, maybe you’d feel more comfortable if you knew her more 🤷♀️
I would never ask my partner to record his time with someone to prove anything to me. Frankly, if I felt that way, clearly the trust is absolutely dead. If I felt he was doing something inappropriate (but not unfaithful) involving another person or their needs (in this case, this woman’s need for a ride, if I felt a way about that) then I would ask him not to and expect it to stop. If it didn’t, I would interpret it as his placing someone else’s needs or desires over mine. Sometimes that’s appropriate, sometimes it isn’t. So I would take stock of that to see who is actually out of line and I would make decisions based on that. Was I being immature and/or selfish? What does my gut say, regardless of those things, though? I wouldn’t think that not giving someone a ride to work anymore would stop anything from happening between them if THAT was what type of time they were on anyway, so that brings me right back to the issue of broken trust being central in the first place.