Baby doesn’t settle for dad

that’s really upsetting to read given how old our little one’s are now! have you tried being as blunt with him as you are here? it’s going to be hard based on how you describe little one’s reaction but it definitely sounds like there needs to be some forced time where it’s just them, to get them both used to each other. if sounds like you have such a huge emotional burden being the 24/7 carer so i hope you’re doing okay x

@Jodie We’ve had many conversations about me needing more help and I’ve told him I’ve been very close to ending things. I do get that he works long days (he’s out of the house at 6am and doesn’t get back until 9pm) so he’s tired and it’s not his fault that there are days where he ends up not seeing his daughter at all because of the times he works and her sleeping, but what I don’t understand is why he isn’t jumping at the opportunity to spend time with her on his days off. If I were in his shoes I would be practically shoving me out of the way and insisting on being the one to change her, feed her, play with her etc. He only really does those things if I directly ask or tell him to. He keeps staying up until 3/4am on ps5 then he expects a lie in until 12pm on his days off, so I honestly feel more like a single parent most of the time.

My eldest was like this, and so was my niece, not through lack of effort from their dads though just how they were. They’re 6 & 5 now and fine with their dads taking the lead.

Maybe unpopular opinion here and I’m not saying you’re wrong because you’re not! Howeverbut we do have hormones and naturally take over I know I did with my firstborn that’s for sure. The fact you’ve been threatening to leave maybe he’s feeling left out and not wanted etc I’m not saying I don’t agree with you because I do, staying up and lay ins isn’t good. You say you “think” he’s been inconsistent not responding etc shows you’re not really sure. I guess all I’m trying to say is maybe look at how he’s feeling

i don’t think there’s much of an excuse if i’m honest. it does sound like he has a difficult week for sure so he’s likely knackered when he gets home and just doesn’t feel that he has the energy at all to parent (long term i definitely think that his job may not be very practical unless you are happy to always solo parent). but if he’s coming home on a friday night and gaming until stupid hours, the exhausted argument just becomes redundant? i agree with you that he should be jumping at the chance to do everything baby because it’s his only chance to spend time with her! he’s choosing to live the life of a single man and that isn’t fair on you or his daughter. i definitely think a conversation about how he feels as a dad and just in general is needed to attempt to discuss why he isn’t being responsible and why he doesn’t seem to want to step up for his daughter. sending you big love, i can’t imagine how stressful it just becomes for you!🩵