Parenting advice please!

Hey Hun I've got a 13 year old who is glued to his pc and phone but because his school is so far away from where he lives he has no friends where we are so I found cadets that he can go to every Monday which he enjoys but the rest of the time it's all about tech I think it's just this generation and any generation afterwards now is going to be all about tech gaming and so on but maybe try to find some group or youth club they can go to at least once a week so they are getting out there maybe

@kerrie that makes me so sad to think it’s gonna be the norm. Feel like it would be so hard to try and fight against the inevitable 😢

I don't have an almost teenager yet, but is there a way you and your kids' dad come to an agreement with limiting gaming and phone use? I feel like as a parent that should be something you can enforce. Like after school you get 1 hour of screen time and that's after doing something outside or physical, homework, and chores. Or something like that? And if it is something outside/physical maybe it can be some sort of bonding time for you both? Like riding bikes together or going for a walk?

I don’t have a teenager, but my husband was exactly like this as a child and actually went on to have a career in the gaming industry which then led on to being a director at a worldwide agency - I mention this because it may be that you could embrace it and look for other activities which support his interests, there are lots of coding clubs set up for kids or you could look at buying a Raspberry Pi (a tiny cheap computer which he could build all sorts of cool things with) - you could explain to him that all the people who make the games he plays did these things as kids.

I would force them out of the house. Don’t like it? Too bad. I do this with my daughter (11) when she gets too stuck into her phone/games etc. Or I take it away from her for x amount of time so she can come back to reality. Try and get dad on board too! (If possible) Honestly we are the parents and what we say goes, so stand your ground and make it clear you’re not ok with it. It’s definitely easier said than done but that’s my solution and it works for us so if you can take something out of it, great! If not, that’s ok too. 🤍

Sadly I know that feeling but all I can suggest is keep trying it is hard and will be very frustrating but you will get there one day it took a while to get my son to enjoy cadets and now he loves it on a Monday evening and his youth club on a wednesday so that's now 2 days for a few hours he is not on tech think I'm going to add a games night on a weekend and play Uno or something so it will be 3 days.

Hey I've got a 10 year old girl and she's exactly the same. Technology is life, if we go anywhere it's the worst thing in the world. We now limit everything to 1 hour a day. If she doesn't do chores etc then I'll remove the technology completely, this also includes if we go somewhere and she moans then itll be no technology when shes home. She hates me for it but we've started to notice her behaviour and attitude is improving. I think it's a generation thing, but I told myself I'm the parent!

My son is 16 and he only games occasionally from the start I’ve told him if he becomes too obsessed or gets angry because of it I’ll throw it in the bin and he knows I meant it. I used to set times with him you can have 1 hour on games etc

Don't allow consoles in your house. Don't let them have phones. You're the parent. Ask dad to have your back. If he doesn't, I suppose that there's not much you can do about that one. As far as getting them into sports and the outdoors, start signing up for programs. Take them on hikes. It's not impossible for their interests to change.

Hey hun I could of wrote this myself - I have a 13y old son who is glued to his Xbox, he hasn’t got any friends in reality, he goes swimming Monday after school, says he doesn’t - but can tell he thoroughly enjoys it (only 1/2 hour) doesn’t help he is asd, so struggles socially. I feel all he does is game, I try and organise family days out but feel he is depressed being away from his game - even when I’m preparing dinner, he’ll say “mum, shall I put the tv on for his younger 2y old sister, so she doesn’t annoy me” (I’m worried he’s getting her into the screen like he is)

I'd physically move the PC out of sight. See if there's any activities linked to the school he might enjoy or in the community. Or if that fails- plan activities as a family (if time allows it) you never know there could be a video game linked to a movie- create a movie night or cinema trip as a family. Books on gaming or magazines- still his interest- but off a screen. Good luck! Don't give up! 🙂

We removed my 13 year olds phone and it made a 100% improvement in her attitude and interaction with family. Since she can’t play on her phone all day, she’s more agreeable to doing stuff with family outside. My husband is a gamer but I prevented it passing on to her by enrolling her in competitive sports since she was really young - they take up all of her time and she doesn’t waste her remaining free time!