Hitting

I work in an sen school, ask the school for communication boards & whatever zones they use for how the child is feeling. When he hits out you can hold his hands and say no thank you let’s have kind hands please. The school should be able to help you

@Nikita thank you we have the zones of emotions regulations on a lanyard. ah I never thought of the communication bored yes I'm still trying to say kind hands as he will only do it to his brother when I'm say cooking tea etc. So when I'm distracted. I've just thought maybe a social story might help. Thank you for your advice. 🙂 we just can't figure out why he's doing it.

Social stories are amazing we use them daily, you can get something called twinkle & they have good stories on there. You could ask the school for these too please don’t feel afraid to ask for any resources the school will be happy to help! If not I could email you some tomorrow when I’m at work If you’re able to print them off

What I ended up doing with my son, who is 4.5, is telling him that if he hit me or his sister, I would take away all his cars. I explained and talked to him so many times about hitting, but it made no difference. I just couldn't take it anymore emotionally and it was making me feel violent too. This method worked. I would put his cars, his favorite thing, away up high for 4 minutes and then give them back. Soon, all I had to say was, what happens if you hit? And he would stop himself. I even noticed him stopping himself without my intervention and he even started telling his little sister not to hit. So, it's gotten a lot better. I'm no longer at the end of my rope and I can handle it when it does happen. He still does "cute aggression", i.e. running into me full force when I'm in the kitchen cooking is doing dishes. He's sensory seeking and looking for attention too. He wants me to join him in his play or show or game.

Another thing that helped a bit just before this was if I said I would talk to his OT about it. He loves his OT and cares about that relationship, so that had an effect on him too. I don't want to manipulate my son in any way, but I really needed a solution. I hardly ever need to take his cars away anymore after just a few weeks. When he hits, he's looking for stimulation, so I try to set aside what I'm doing to chase him, give him squeezes and tickling.

@Nikita thank you yes i need to start asking more but anxiety gets in the way. It takes me a week to ask questions sometimes lol 😆 @Melody I do this. With a favourite toy etc. I do mention his favourite teachers. Ah so he could be sensory seeking when doing it. But I do suspect pda and odd. So could be doing it for attention. But thank you both for your advice its much appreciated

We are human too! I find it so refreshing to have a parent on board and working with us because when you follow the same behaviour techniques at home it’s more likely to work. Some parents let their children get away with everything at home & it makes behaviours so more challenging. If you feel anxious asking over the phone / face to face you can always use dojo I’m sure your little boys teacher will be so on board and willing to help

@Nikita we both do sticker charts as this works well for him with the majority of things. We are still learning together as he only started in September but he's come on so much including his communication. This week so it's a slow pace but getting their. If I catch my lads teacher I will ask for a social story I'm still getting used to the way things work. 🙂

I noticed in your comment that he only hits his brother when you are distracted. It may be that he is hitting his brother to get your attention, when you are distracted! Provide him continuous attention when he is not hitting, whilst you are doing other things or give him a preferred activity when you need to be focused on a task. Reach out to See The Person if you need further help with hitting- it’s best to understand the why behind hitting when it first starts as it’s easier to stop and replace with another behaviour 😊 Seetheperson.co.uk