I just wanted a shower

I haven't had a proper shower since coming home from the hospital and rinsing off on Monday. I've been running around all week. Driving an hour to appointments and back. Cleaning up around the house. I haven't even had a chance to get groceries yet. My husband said that he would take out son (2.5 yo) to daycare after he finished his coffee. I said OK I'm having a shower. My showers are 10 mins -15 if I'm lazy. It's literally wash hair, put conditioner in, shave, wash conditioner out, soap and done. I hadn't even finished shaving one leg before I heard yelling and crying. I get out of the shower thinking something serious has happened. My son didn't want to put his coat on, he just wanted to play with his globe. He had smacked my husband as my husband was trying to get his coat on. The way my husband was carrying on, from the shower it sounded like someone was seriously hurt. So I'm super annoyed. Towel on, I take our son's globe away and told him to put his coat on. I gave him the option of putting his coat on by himself or sitting in the timeout chair and I put it on for him. He curled up in the dog's bed. I picked him up, put him in his chair, put on his coat, boots and hat. I looked at my husband and said "he's ready to go. I'm finishing my shower, I'll see you when you get home." It is a struggle everyday to get our son to put his boots or coat on. Some days I'm almost in tears trying to get him out the door, beyond frustrated and my husband calls me dramatic. Yet I can't have a simple shower.

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I know my husband has a very stressful job and he's worried about finances. And he's tired. But he slept 5hr yesterday coming home from night shift and another 8hrs last night. The past two night shifts of his, I've only had maybe 8 hr combined.

I wouldn’t get involved, you left your shower then got annoyed. You should let your partner deal with it next time and you carry on

@Hind I thought something bad had happened. I heard my son's 'something is wrong cry' and my husband swear really loudly. I was already out of the shower when I realised that it was just my son being his normal 2 yo self.

@Ellie that’s fair and it’s only normal to check everything is ok with your LO. I think personally I would not have gotten involved, even after checking everything was ok and nothing bad had happened. I would stay upstairs.. my partner is all too happy to let me take over so I’ve learnt to fight that urge. Just personally what I would do

I agree that you shouldn’t get involved, your husband is allowed to parent the way he thinks is appropriate and you have to trust your partner has things under control. I understand you thought something happened though so maybe agree in yelling HELP in case something happens.

I’d leave him to it. If something happened you should be able to trust that 1. He would have it under control and 2. If he doesn’t he would come get you

I know this dance all too well. I’m sorry 🫂 If it helps I personally started waiting before they leave the house to go play outside before I start even trying to pee let alone shower.

It’s tricky when one of the parents is like this!! It can be really isolating and hard for the more active parent because they’re expected to take care of anything and everything child related and never have time for themselves! It’s vital to find time to take care of yourself and be able to shower and have a quiet moment etc I would sit with your husband and maybe work out a schedule/routine to allow you more you time

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