Am I the a**hole?

Dude! I’m having the same freaking problem! I say no. You deserve me time. Tell him to get a sock.

Of corse you are not the asshole. After a baby we have so many changes in every single aspect of our lives and ourselves. I would have a honest talk with him about explaining how you feel right now and reassuring him (if needed) that you love him, but right now you are exhausted to the point where you don’t wanna have sex. A good partner will understand and support you.

You’re definitely NTA if youre not able to mentally/physically able to make sure you’re good how is anyone to expect you to makes sure baby is good he should be mindful of you as well

You are not the asshole. I agree a loving conversation in which you explain to him what you are feeling and how important it is that you have some time to yourself in order to be in the best space for both baby and him is a good approach. Perhaps you could try scheduling a time — I know folks think it’s less romantic or whatever if not spontaneous, but at this time, it could be a saving grace. That way you’re still connecting intimately (when you feel up to it and want to), but it’s not all on his (libido’s) terms. This might also lessen any anxiety he could be having if the intimacy has dipped a bit recently, allowing him to know that it’s not an issue with him (as long as it isn’t), and that ultimately you’re still interested and in love, just exhausted and flooded with all kinds of physical and psychological changes.

Nope! It’s very common PP. PP intimacy /low libido isn’t talked about enough. 😭 It’s literally not you. It’s your hormones. After child birth, estrogen and progesterone levels drop while prolactin rises. Which is what supports breastfeeding. This hormonal shift can lower libido and contribute to vaginal dryness making intimacy less desirable. Even more if you’re EBF. It’s a very vulnerable topic but we just need clear communication with our partners and they need to understand that just bc you’re not in the mood doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Your body just went through 9 months of changes day by day . they can’t expect for you to be back to normal in a mater of weeks. For now, personally, I prefer to cuddle and be cuddled which is more satisfying than sex at the moment. Show your partner you still love them but sex isn’t and shouldn’t be the main thing to show them you love them. Hope this helps!

Absolutely not! You’re already intimate multiple times a week. He’s lucky! 🍀

I would try explaining where you’re coming from so he has an idea versus you just saying ‘no’. Me time and self care is so important after having a baby especially if you’re carrying the load by yourself. He can offer to help you out with the baby to give you some me time throughout the day when he’s home with you then once the baby is asleep you may be more open to sharing your time with him. It sucks because they have no idea what you’re going through and there’s no way for them to experience it. But if he’s willing to work with you he’ll end up benefiting from it too.

Men are so dang selfish!!! I’m pp and my husband is counting down the days he can finally get it in lol