Feeling useless as a FTM to a week year old
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When my husband went to work and it was just me and the baby.. I cried when she cried, like more of a rage scream into my pillow. I talked myself into getting up! I put on clean clothes and I took her for a walk. You gotta get out and get moving. The next best thing is some sort of baby wearing equipment. It helped so much to have your hands free. Try to be present with just your baby, this stage really goes by so quickly, you'll be back to normal someday, but this is just such a brief window for that baby to be this small and dependent on you. Hang in there mama!
Just know you are not alone with those feelings. I think expectations and what social media shows what being a mom is honestly is so off to what reality is. It’s hard. & it’s normal to feel what you are feeling. You are getting to know each other, there is no way for you to know everything, but the fact that you care means you are an amazing mom. You are the best mom that baby needs. You need to keep telling yourself that until you believe it. First few weeks are tough, I just pushed through and took it day by day. I felt the same my husband is a nurse so he took care of our son so effortlessly & I was struggling with everything. It will get better. My hubby goes back to work next week so I know the feeling of panic but we can do this!
i can tell u were exhausted when u wrote this bc u wrote “a week year old” 😂😂 give yourself grace!! babies don’t come with instructions and there’s a learning curve!! 🤍 good luck
There’s no right way how to feel. It is so life altering & a shock to your system. My brain was all over the place, I remember thinking, how are you supposed to get anything done? I remember asking all the moms/grandmas in my life how did you do this!? You and your partner will get into a groove, you’re learning together. Try to relax, maybe listen to a podcast, audiobooks, or like someone else said move your body. One day at a time. One thing I regret is not going to a mom’s group post partum! To not feel so alone.
The first few weeks can be awful, the first few months are hard in general - I spent my nights and days exhausted, crying and getting frustrated with my LO and then feeling so guilty, I still have those days. I promise, once she starts smiling more and crying less you’ll be able to settle down. There’s no cure, no trick to stopping it all because it just happens, it happens to everyone and it DOES get better, you just have to be patient and understand nothing you’re doing is causing her to be upset. She’s no longer warm and comfy and fed constantly in your belly anymore. She’s cold and tired and hungry and feeling things she’s never felt before and as a human being I think we can all agree those things are exhausting and we’d all cry about it 24/7 if we could. Keep cuddling her, keep kissing her, keep bouncing her and rocking her and just loving her because after 2/3 months, everything settles. You’ll get there, no matter how hard it seems, I promise you’ll get there!