vent/lonely

this is really just to rant. i just feel so lonely as a single mom. i’m only 20. i only have one friend that lives near me, and we aren’t super compatible anymore. i’m in two moms groups but i still haven’t felt like ive found “my people”. i try to be open minded but you can’t really force friendship/connection. all day i dream of having an amazing husband and a family and a close group of girls. i feel so dissociated. sometimes i just sit next to my baby when he’s playing and zone out. i have some close friends but they all live in another state. honestly i just wish i had a best friend. i live with my parents but they both work full time so there are times i literally go entire days without having an adult conversation. the lack of mental stimulation gets to me. i got pregnant my freshman year of college and dropped out and moved home to be a mom. i went from going out multiple times a week, seeing my friends every single day, living alone, and doing what i wanted when i felt like it to completely losing any other identity i had other than being a mom. i LOVE being a mom and i have no regrets but it gets hard.