Toddler punishments
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Time outs work for us. Time are reserved for reckless behaviors that can result in him hurting himself or someone else AND ONLY after he has been warned twice to not do it. Warnings will include explaining to him why we should not do what he’s doing and the consequences it will/could result in and sometimes he will choose to do it again so time out he goes. Time out consists of sitting in a chair for 2 mins. I don’t sit him in a corner or in another room bc i don’t want him to feel isolated and/or scared. I just want him to sit and think about his actions. Then after the timer is up, I will ask him if he knows why he was putting time out and then we will go over his behavior and our expectations of him. Following that with a hug and reminding him we still love him. Now if he continues to misbehave in timeout, that’s when we start taking away favorite toys AND adding time. Works every time for us But every kid is different.
Is she intentionally weeping herself (I ask cuz toddlers don’t developmentally usually do behavior like that) or is she taking you literally with time outs not knowing that she can use the restroom during a time out? But i don’t do time outs. I talk to them. I help them process the big feelings. I help them regulate. They are so little that even adults don’t know how to regulate our feelings and sometimes I think we think kids can do it on their own but they don’t know how. They need an adult to sit down with them and talk them through what to process and how to respond appropriately.
So are you toilet training? And she’s in undies? Then use rewards for when she does pee, and prompt every hour. Not an hour goes by that I don’t ask him would he like to pee, does he need to pee, sounds like that’s all I’m asking when he’s 2 lol. I have never ever put him in timeout he’s 5 I just talk to him and talk to him about consequences. I told him not to pee on Sonic (while toilet training) and he found that quite hilarious lol and he tried not to 💁🏻♀️
I recommend the book how to talk so little kids will listen. Lots of suggestions
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DHdizGGIXD0/?igsh=MWlweXpwa3djMHBuZg== I love this lady, I recommend watching some of her vids. She likes corrective behavior/leadership in toddlers because they can’t comprehend yet.
We have started to do the time out area. All he has is himself during that time. Then he will come in and apologise.
If he’s being bad I tell him no and I take away what he’s being bad with. If he’s throwing a toy, the toy he’s throwing gets repoed. Jumping on the couch, no more couch for a while. For being 2 it works pretty well. I also give him something else to redirect him. If he’s being a complete menace he goes to “tiny jail” which is a big playpen he can’t get out to play by himself for 15-30 minutes or till he seems better.
It very much depends on the age of the ‘toddler’ and also what behaviours you’re trying to correct
Well, time out doesn't work anyway especially not on young toddlers How old is she? Taking away a future treat means nothing, consequences must happen immediately or be related.
She's 2 years 4 months. I say intentionally peeing on self/floor because I offer the potty just before she does it. She refuses in an upset manner then almost immediately does it on the floor including for time outs. The other behaviours she does is hitting and biting/attempted biting of us and her nans. Thanks all for the suggestions!
From the weeing perspective This very much sounds like a child that’s not ready not a disobedient child The hitting /biting is a developmental thing. Simply telling them no firmly, and removing them from the situation normally works after a few weeks
Dr Becky Kennedy is worth following too.
I would try making the potty more fun / worth it for her! Give her her favorite toys or read her favorite books when she's sitting on the potty! If she goes on the potty, you could give her a little treat! Even a sticker chart can be fun for kids that age! It sounds like maybe the accidents are because the potty is a super aversive thing! As for hitting and biting, that is super age appropriate. If she tries, just step out of reach and say no. Teach her to use gentle hands in place of hitting. And teach emotional regulation techniques when she's calm so you can help her through big feelings when shes upset! Traditional punishments won't help at this age. She just needs to learn what behaviors are appropriate, and how to start regulating big feelings. They also are really wanting a sense of control at this age, so giving (limited) choices can help prevent behaviors like this. Toddlers can be tough, but you've got this!!
The potty training book says time outs will not work for potty accidents because they aren't related to the "crime". Toddler brains need to link the "punishment" to the "crime" for it to be an effective deterrent. It suggests saying "tractor will stay on top of the fridge until you do ( your next wee on potty / all your wees on potty for the evening). What is her original offence that you did time out for? Also I put crime in inverted commas as accidents are usually not on purpose hence the word accident! Potty book also recommends going back to naked training day to rule out any missing learning first. Only then if accidents continue to treat it as a behavioural issue. As a practical thing you can have her pitch in cleaning the accidents like taking wet pants off put in bucket. Getting out a wet wipe for cleaning. Getting new pants out and helping put on. Wiping with a rag and rag into bucket. Staying with you until cleaning is done (ie not playtime) if she can't do the actual cleaning.
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The idea is she can see that it takes more time away from play to clean the accident than to have done to just go on potty.
@Alex original offense is hitting/kicking/biting that she goes on timeout for. She wees when on timeout after being put there, or she refuses to use potty and then immediately wees on the floor positioning herself to do it (open legs to reduce wetness on legs if bottomless). I'm certain it is onnpurpose because she's annoyed about something else (being told no, going on time out, not stopping bothering her anymore about using thr potty when its time like before we leave the house/after a sleep/after an hour) and is having a hard time managing that
What behaviors are you wanting to correct? Using natural consequences and teaching appropriate replacement behaviors can be really effective! And newer research shows timeouts to actually be pretty ineffective!