Buying baby items whilst TTC

I’ve always known I wanted a second child. Once I was ready I came off contraception and started trying. I had some things I didn’t use for my first and just kept them for my ‘next’. I fell pregnant in September last year and started shopping for more baby clothes and other items (a whole medium suitcase full). Sadly, I miscarried at 13 weeks. I find myself going through the suitcase and feeling very low about TTC and feeling like it might not happen. I also don’t know how normal having a suitcase full of things for a non existent baby is? I wondered if anyone has anything they’ve bought in anticipation. If not, how do you manage not getting ahead of yourself? I still find myself wanting to pick up things when I’m out. I don’t even know what I’m expecting to hear. This stuff is hardddd!

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I just don’t buy anything to avoid disappointed after my miscarriage at 11 weeks. It’s just not worth the heartbreak. My motivation is always to wait until I find out the gender before buying anything x

I didn't buy anything, but I did update the baby registry. Hope nobody's looking yet, because we miscarried in January and the medicated IUI cycle after that didn't work.

@Shannon thank you for responding! Waiting to find out gender seems like a good way to manage the nerves x

@Amanda this is a nice way to still browse but not get carried away with buying. And it can be like a shopping list for when it actually happens

Yeah, I figure as I think of things I wish we had for my son, or things that got worn out or used up, I'll write them down with hope for our next baby.

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s heartbreaking isn’t it. We lost our baby at 17 weeks at the beginning of March. We had the whole nursery pretty much set up. It’s devastating isn’t it, and I find it so hard having all this stuff but no baby. I’m just trying to keep hopeful that one day it will be needed and used. Xx

@Briony it is heartbreaking and I am sorry you have also experienced loss in this way. I can’t even imagine how difficult it is having had the nursery almost ready. Hopefully we both get to use our things on our babies xx

With my son I didn’t buy anything until I was about halfway along, I was scared I would lose him and how painful the little outfits would be in that case. The pandemic made it pretty easy not to shop too. I don’t think it’s weird to have a suitcase of hopeful baby things though, I have a friend who’s been buying special baby/kid things (clothes, toys, books) for years and years. Not everything but just when she comes across something great that she might not have another chance to get later. It’s so hard not knowing what the future will hold when you want a baby so desperately. I think ill be slow to buy things again this time since I’m already getting older and the chances of something going wrong are higher, and If it doesn’t happen in the next year or 2 we may just not have another

With both my boys I bought one little item of clothing when I was TTC sort of like a manifestation. With the baby we lost we weren’t trying so I didn’t buy anything I did buy an outfit prior to 12 week scan I ended up throwing it out cause I was a wreck after finding out about MMC 😖 When I fell pregnant again a started buying a few warm bits (first son was June baby baby we lost May but this baby is a December baby) after my MMC I knew me buying the outfit didn’t jinx it or cause it to happen. if anything I felt bad the baby we lost only had 1 item of clothing I got in my head it felt unloved/unwanted 😣

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