What would your reaction be to this situation?

We have recently moved in a 3 bedroom house from a 1 bedroom flat. When we first views the house, we thought it would be low maintenance and we could move in and settle before it would require any sort of work. Well within 30 mins of walking around after getting the keys, we realised this place requires major work before it would actually be safe for our toddler. We’ve realised financial this is going to be a challenge for us because of the amount of work. The issue is the fact that my family lives far from us and because we live in a very popular holiday destination, it’s not cheap to visit us. My mum has already made plans for her, my dad and 5 brothers and auntie to come stay with us in the next 2 weeks without even asking if we are ready to receive any guest. I had to break the news to her that this wasn’t possible as our place is no where nearly ready in any way shape or form. We won’t even be able to bring in our furniture for at least another 4 weeks and the only furniture we have in the house is a mattress and camping chairs for us to sit on. She got mad at me saying how could I expect her to pay for a holiday home or something when I have a 3 bedroom house now. I honestly wish the house was in a better position so we could move everything in but right now the only room the looks decent is our bedroom and the kitchen and the rest looks like a building site. She’s not understanding that am not trying to be malicious and that having all these people coming over, just isn’t doing able at the moment for us.

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I think how you’re feeling is fair. You want to make it comfortable for your visiting family as well. I’m not for sure why your family is not being understanding. And your mom didn’t even ask if she could stay. Did you originally ask them to visit you???

@Sarah no they usually come visit whenever it’s the school holiday so I knew they were coming to the area but I didn’t know they planned to stay at mines!

Even if my house was up together I would be fuming if my mother invited 8 adults to stay on my behalf and expect me to host 😂😂😂 What’s the matter with the woman??! Do you have a family what’s app group? If your mother isn’t listening then pop on the group for all to see.. “Hi all would love to see you and show you the new house but as you can imagine it’s all a bit crazy here so we need time to settle. Will text some alternative dates later on in the year when I can offer you some furniture to sit on” They should get the hint then!!!

Your being 100% fair, it sounds like your mother has no regards for your boundaries, for me personally even my family have to knock at the door etc, just because we are related doesn’t mean you will treat me with any less respect or curiosity than you would A stranger so inviting 8 people round and offering you to host would be an immediate no especially with having explained to her and she doesn’t see “ why she should have to pay “ you are not running a B&B and if she’d like to take some of the family on a “Holiday” as she usually does by the sound of it then she very much should pay, if your house was ready or not she has 0 rights to expect herself or anyone is welcome to even visit without asking or being offered x

What's wrong with the house? What needs to be done?

@Ella eek where do I start… we pulled out the carpet in the lounge to reveal a huge hole in the middle of the lounge which by the looks of it the old owners tried to hide and if we hadn’t removed the carpet on the first day someone would have fallen through the floors. 2 broken windows… like literally the window do not shut at all and the frame is hanging off.. it looks like they have put something in the way to hide it and we only found out because we live in a very cold area and 2 days in a row no matter how much the heating was on, it was still freezing . We also find out the back door wasn’t useable, the first time we opened it the door it literally fell on my husband and my toddler was with him but luckily he was in-between the door and our toddler… that one we request to used back door to gain access to the garden many times when viewing and the the old owner kept using the excuse of “we have rescued cats we don’t want them to get out”… the list goes on and on and on!

Sounds like you have bought a project! Exciting! But also sounds far too dangerous to have kids living there so I would do it from a distance and rent elsewhere!!!!

@Francesca we definitely knew it was a project as it was quite dated but we had no idea it was this bad. I wish we could afford to rent whiles we fix the place up but that isn’t doable for us as my husband is the only working one and all our saving went on this house.

You’ve told them the state of the house and there is no furniture etc……. If they insist on coming then let them - have it in a text message and when they come and complain about how the house is not ready then show them the message. There are some people in the world, that don’t listen - need to take action.

I’d pop them a message saying about the state it is in right now (photos might help). And that if people want to stay at your place then instead of charging them they can pitch in with helping get the place up and running so then everyone can relax.

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