Kid not listening

Anyone else's kid just straight up not listen to them? We've tried every kind or reward based incentive, we've tried time out, we've tried taking toys away temporarily (toy time out), we've tried explaining to her that it's frustrating/stressful and explained those feelings to her as well and she still will stare us in the eye while not listening to what we're saying and just keep doing whatever she wants. I won't spank her or hit her in any way. I just dont know what else to try at this point. She's really excited to start preschool soon and I keep telling her she can't act up in school or else she won't be allowed to have fun. I'm tempted to get her evaluated because I suspect she's definitely not neuro typical, both her dad and I aren't so it would make sense. Am I just not good at this? I'm pregnant with my second and the stress has been really bad lately and I can feel my blood pressure go up when she starts acting up. Do I just not have enough patience? Anyone have tips?