How are we all coping with ‘terrible 2s’

My little one is having the same tantrums, I’ll ask him if he wants something and he’ll say ‘yes’ and then I go to give it him and he’ll just lose it🤷🏼‍♀️ I give him 2 options which have the same outcome ‘are you going to brush your teeth’ or ‘is mummy going to brush your teeth’ this tends to work as I feel like he feels he’s made the choice and had some input. If he’s really going for it, I let him have his tantrum, I sit in the same room so he knows I’m there and then I’ll say ‘would you like a cuddle now’ and he will come over when he’s ready. Don’t get me wrong on a couple of occasions I have to leave the room as he will try and hit me purely out of frustration and I’ll just say ‘that’s not kind to mummy’ and walk away and he will then come over for a cuddle. It’s rough sometimes but you’ve absolutely got this and it won’t last forever x

I work in behaviour management so here are some of the techniques I've found cross over well into parenting: FAIL SAFE CHOICE: offer two choices, both of which have a reasonable outcome. This gives your child independence and choice but still within your limits. "Would you like to do your nappy first then have your milk or have your milk then do your nappy?" REDIRECTION/DISTRACTION: acknowledge their feelings then redirect to an alternative positive behaviour pattern. Like Chantelle said about redirecting onto the dinosaur on the clothing etc DESIRED BEHAVIOUR, DESIRED OUTCOME: provide a positive behaviour your child can do which will help them reach their desired outcome. "I understand you want want a story, if you choose a book and sit on the sofa, mummy will read it to you"

The big one for us at the moment is my daughter shouting to demand things with no manners. I keep an even tone and say either "what do we need to say if we want something?" Or I will form the sentence for her then provide the item once she has said it calmly eg " Brielle try pasta please" (this is usually around whatever I'm eating at the time 😂) For getting dressed I will turn it into a game eg "quick we need to get your shoes on before they run away!" While I tap them on the floor as if they're trying to escape. Or pretending I see something in the sleeve and asking her to reach in to find it then say "oh it's a hand" when her hand comes out the other side. Parenting is hard and none of us get it right all the time so please don't beat yourself up. You're doing amazing 💖

@Chantelle Louise I’m going to try the 2 options same outcome! As well as what you do for tantrums. Thank you so much for responding and offering advice x

@Hester this! My son shouts “help!” Or if he wants something opened he will demand “OPEN!” I just tried this, he wanted the door open to go outside. He just kept saying help, I kept repeating back “help, please” he kept repeating help, I carried on with “help please” and took 3 times but he caught on and said “help please”

@Hester thank you! This is where I’ve been struggling I think, I’m expecting him to do things immediately or do it ‘my way’ then I’m confused on why he’s upset. But I’m not factoring in the things you’ve said so I will now. Thank you so much x

Just acknowledge their feelings without saying but. Even if it's silly. A great example is at lunch time my son wanted a banana so I peeled it and he kicked off. I told him he was frustrated because I peeled it. I set it in a plastic bowl at his height so he could get it when he was ready. And gave him a hug. He only cried for a minute or two. I didn't say anything else after telling him he was frustrated and didn't try to distract him (this doesn't work anymore and makes him worse). Once he was ready he got up and ate the banana like nothing happened 😂 Honestly internally I was screaming and sometimes I do lose patience with it. A book I've started is How to talk so little kids will listen.

With my son, I make sure not to ask twice. What I mean by that is if he goes to the front door to try to open it for example, I'll say his name and then "come away from the door, please." If he then doesn't come away, I go over and gently take his hand and lead him away, repeating "come away from the door please", so he knows when I ask him to do something, I mean it. When it comes to him asking things nicely, sometimes he'll go "have it!" So I model the right language saying "can I have it please?" while handing it over to him, so he learns the right language even if he's not quite able to express it himself. Also, if I ask him to do something, I'll pause for a couple of seconds (I've always been told 3 seconds but I've also seen people say 10 seconds) because it does take a while for their little brains to process what you've said. I also try to find ways to let him do a lot himself, like pouring his own drink or putting his own coat on. It takes practice and its definitely hard sometimes!

Compared to my four year old my two year old is like an angel 😂

I’ve just had my 2nd baby beginning of December so I have my June baby and a 4 month old. My June baby is definitely going through toddler tantrums at times however my 4 month old baby is SUCH hard work. He is currently whinging/crying/screaming 80% of the day. Won’t let me put him down or if I sit down he kicks off. I feel like he is much harder than her tantrums 😩🤣 I remember my daughter being similar but I feel like I’ve forgotten and it seems much worse this time around!