Those with 2 or more children...

I feel like this maternity leave I've spent the whole time comparing my two. My first one was amazing at sleeping, very chilled but we had lots of fun. I was also under the impression I had lots of help. My parents were both reasonably well and alive. My partners were seeming to be hands on and eager to help. All round it felt like a bed of roses I loved my time with my first. Second time round I don't have any help from grandparents. I go on the school run with my first so it's so hard to get out the house. Also because my first is in school I find there's barely any time to enjoy my second. We end up doing after school clubs etc and I just find it such hard work to have another with doing these activities. I dont get one to one time with my first barely it really upsets me. I just find my whole day is really trying to give my love and time to both and by the time night time comes i juat curl up in a dark room and sleep. My second doesn't sleep through and is really hard work in comparison with my first. My relationship has suffered. This time I've been on a complete emotional roller coaster it's felt hard and I've had no outlet. I feel guilty in saying I haven't enjoyed this time as much. Anyone else in the same boat?