How would you deal with this situation are we being selfish? Sorry it’s long.

We recently went to Egypt with the in laws and well it was HELL 😂 not sure why we though taking 3 kids under 5 was a good idea but none of them slept well which meant we didn’t it was 10 days of broken sleep. My middle child (2) really struggled being out of a routine and not sleeping in a familiar environment and would sometimes be awake at 10pm which meant he’d wake the others up anyway it was a whole thing. We’ve kind of accepted the fact that expensive abroad holidays should be put on hold for a few years until the kids are a bit older. MIL would constantly push boundaries first off I had to explain we didn’t want adjoining rooms because I’d like more privacy she wasn’t pleased so instead asked for the room above us. Throughout the holiday she would knock on the door and walk in when myself and children weren’t dressed etc she’d come up to the terrace window and look inside to see if we were in and sleeping when we said we were 🥴 but before that it we’d arranged to go and visit the sister in law who owns a huge house in Kent. Mil invited herself and her husband and will insist on staying in the house with us and not in the guest house. After the sleep trauma of Egypt we decided we’d drive down early on the morning and then come back late at night instead of staying for the weekend. Sister in law has sent a few manipulative message about how it’s unfair on in laws not seeing the children for long and I understand that I really do but they don’t have to sit with 3 kids until 9/10pm at night waiting for them to sleep and then we’d be wanting to go to bed so it’s quite unfair on us having to do that every night for 3 nights. Are we being selfish only going for 1 day?

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Nope not even close your kids needs come first

I do see their side of it but I just expect people to be more understanding and less but hurt it’s not about us not wanting to spend time with them right? In a perfect world they’d just say ‘oh that’s a shame we’d love to spend more time with you and the children but you’re the parents and we understand it must be difficult so do what you feel is best’

You have 3 kids under 5. You do what you need to! 😁 Honestly they are so young right now that everyone should be making allowances for YOU. If they are that fussed about seeing you all, they can come to your house. It takes a lot to pack up for 1 kid, let alone 3, drive to destination, take them out of routine and then make sure they go to sleep. Like you said, you are the ones who suffer when they don’t sleep. Any normal person would understand this. They sound selfish.

A young child without the routine and safe place is hard we took my son camping for his second birthday and it was painful he wouldn't nap in the daytime or sleep at night we were all taking turns trying to put him down and there were 5 of us

I’d be dropping all 3 kids off with them, telling them this is what they asked for, and let them see how difficult it is. I bet they won’t mention it again. (I wouldn’t actually do this but I’d want to. I have a few issues with my own MIL but I’m realising the more firm I am with her, the better she is becoming)

@Jess my husband said let’s stay for 1 night and then they’ll understand how hard it is. But why put ourselves through 1 night just to prove a point they should understand

O my god. Are all of your in-laws like this or just the ones you have mentioned. I would not be spending any sort of time with these people. How dare they tell you what you should be doing and invade your space. If you still want them to see the kids then I would make it pop in visits to there house for a maximum of an hour or so and tell them to back off when they voice there opinions. Your in-laws have actually annoyed me. I would not be able to hold back with them. Is your partner on your side with this?

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