Notify midwife?

I had the worst time with my midwife the first time round. I got allocated her again but i refused to have her. And this time my midwife is amaaaazing! Maybe give it a chance and see how you go. I know you can refuse appointments and scans.

You can request a different midwife. It’s not advised to go without completely as they do all the basic monitoring for conditions such as preeclampsia, choleastasis etc

Request a change- they cannot ask you the reason for this either! I felt very anxious as my first midwife would constantly snap at me and hated being asked any questions. You need to know if your urine has protein in it etc and to hear baby's heartbeat! So unfortunately for these basic checks they're needed

You can ask to change midwife, and even change hospital. I do know people who have gone without a midwife service, but you can still use a maternity ward for care if you feel anything is wrong. As long as your pregnancy is registered, it is completely up to you how much care you want to receive

Can I ask why you think they will all be judgemental? What are you thinking they are judging you for? Is it something you are doing and you know you shouldn’t be which is why you want to avoid a midwife?

In the UK it’s legal to have a wild pregnancy, this means eschewing all medical care & usually you’d freebirth afterwards. It’s all your choice though. The women who choose this know possible consequences so follow this if you want. You can also notify the midwives if you like, and cancel appointments that you don’t feel is necessary, and ask for a change of midwife if you don’t get along with your named midwife, or perhaps you’d get a different one each time like i do. Completely depends on your nhs trust. You can also go private for antenatal and birth care, from what I’ve seen this costs around £25k for a home birth.

@Jess hi Jess no not at all . My first pregnancy I was kicked out of my family home around 26 weeks and became instantly homeless and the midwife’s made a lot of comments regarding how I am a social worker and homeless or comments like “I don’t know why people have kids if they can’t afford homes, should just abort “ after having 3 miscarriages prior. And now my baby is only 11months and I’m pregnant again so I just feel shame but I have so many miscarriages I want to keep this one just in case it might work out and I have this baby as I want two children anyway. But the treatment I received during my prenatal appointments I would cry each session so that’s why and they all know each other so I don’t know what to do

Thank you so much ladies . I wasn’t aware you can actually just cancel appointments and have a different hospital . I am going to have a look today and registering with a nearby hospital and fingers crossed the experience is different . And if you had a horrible time with midwives too I’m really sorry it’s a shame that when a woman is undergoing a vulnerable time in her life professionals choose to be like that it’s so crazy to me

Wow this is awful! I’m so sorry to experienced this. You must have had seriously bad luck to have come across numerous such people with this opinion that they would make comments about! I hope you find better support at a different hospital. I didn’t exactly like my midwife service but nothing happened to this level - just the odd bad egg who was annoying or more useless than helpful etc

Just like OBs if you don’t get along with your midwife you can request a change!