Terrible twos?

I’m absolutely shattered. I haven’t felt so confused since my little one was a newborn. Everyone always says how good she is and how happy she is. We just went on holiday and got back yesterday, granted things were out of routine but today I’ve stuck to our usual routine and nothing has changed. She has tantrums over everything, she’ll ask me to do something like colour but then will scream at me for colouring and if I stop colouring she will scream at me. She can’t communicate her needs well besides “kiss”, “food” and “drink”. If I ask her what she needs or what she is trying to tell me she gets really upset. She doesn’t want to go to sleep but will get upset because she is tired. She’s even started kicking and hitting and we do say stop or no and sometimes she does stop other times she doesn’t. This change has completely surprised me because it’s definitely a lot harder. Not to mention my partner works long hours everyday so I’m basically at home all the time with her and he doesn’t witness most of what’s happening. I feel so alone and like I’m the worst mum in the world because I can’t understand how to help her.

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Hey! As a preschool teacher, I totally get it – it's a phase, completely normal. If your little one's acting out, it's 'cause she feels comfy with you. Loads of parents ask me the same thing, worried about other kids influencing her. Two-year-olds can't control their feelings yet, and sadly, most folks focus on what their children *should* or shouldn't do instead of teaching emotion control. You're doing great, this will pass. Get some puppets with different faces and books about feelings. Read, play, and use them every day. Teach her it's okay to feel whatever she feels, and there are ways to handle those feelings. Hope this helps! Big hugs, Mama. 🥰

@Sylwia thank you I appreciate that and will definitely give the puppet’s a go. She has watched a few videos about feelings on YouTube and always talk to her about mine and I ask how she is feeling but she mostly just responds “no” to everything

I completely get it; it's frustrating, especially when you're in a hurry or stressed, alone with this chaos, and don't want an all-out war. It's hard with two-year-olds. But we need to understand that at age two, children experience rapid brain development, meaning almost 700 neural connections are formed every second. This means they are trying to figure out themselves and how they are mini versions of us. All we can do is build a strong, positive relationship.

I would suggest a few of these strategies: - Always give two options that are acceptable to you, e.g., snack time: "Do you want apples or bananas?" Or bedtime: "Do you want a story or nursery rhymes?" - Take a pause when a child has a tantrum. Don't intervene immediately. Give it a few minutes; otherwise, both you and your child may end up in tears. - When children say "no," it's because they often feel like little adults. Ask your child for help with chores. It will give them a sense of purpose. - Praise positive behavior as much as possible, but be specific. "Good job" isn't enough. Wishing you all the best. Remember, it's just a stage; it will pass. 😊

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