“Forgetful” Spouse or Weaponized incompetience

We had to doctor’s appointments today. One for our oldest son who has a history of brain cancer. This appointment was needed for an updated physical as well as to fill out critical documents needed for the support programs that our son needs. The second appointment is for the OBGYN because I’m 35 weeks pregnant. These appointments were scheduled over a week ago. I’ve sent him text reminders of these appointments stating what day and time they were. I’ve talked about this in great length over the corresponding days. In fact, he was literally right fucking next to me when I scheduled the appointments. Last night I told him we had to go to bed early because we have doctor’s appointments in the morning. Guess what? We’ve missed all our fucking appointments, and you want to know why? He wakes up and is completely oblivious as to why I woke up early, came downstairs fully dressed, asked him for help to get the kids fully dressed to go outside. After everyone is ready, he’s standing around in his underwear looking like he has nothing better to do. Immediately I ask him why he’s not dressed because we have appointments to go to. He claims that I never told him. That I never reminded him. That I never said that we had doctor’s appointments. He just blatantly lied to my face. So I remind him that I texted him several times listing all the important appointments we had. That I mentioned it several times this week and even coordinated with our at home aid for our son. Yet the egg is on my face and he’s acting like I’m an asshole. He’s pissed at me as if I never told him and he had no knowledge of the appointments. So now I’m sitting here feeling gaslit and wondering; Is he being forgetful or just weaponizing his incompetence. I’m tired of being the default parent and being expected to remember every single thing pertaining to our children; Only to have my spouse act like they have no idea what I’m talking about when I repeatedly remind them.