in April 2025 Babies 🇺🇸

Visitors after birth

So I told my dad I don’t want him and my grandma to come to the hospital after I give birth. I told him I want to wait till I get home so my spouse can pick him and my grandma up and come to the house so I’m in a more comfortable environment and I can collect myself better when I’m ready to have company basically… He kind of took it offensive because he said he wants to come to the hospital to take pictures. Like I don’t need anyone coming to the hospital to take pictures of me looking a wreck after giving birth. I don’t think he understands where I’m coming from… For him he says it’s the moment of a newborn etc but it’s not his choice. I also don’t want pictures of my newborn being sent around to his friends or family either. I want my baby to have time to adjust to the world as well as myself adjusting to the fact that I had a baby. I even had to tell my mom not to come fly down and stay with me for two weeks something she came up on her own like. I just want to be in my own space and adjust and when I’m ready I’ll let people see her whether it be through photos, FaceTime or in person. I’m also doing delayed vaccinations and I don’t want the baby to get sick just cause people want to come see her because they’re excited. I also don’t know if I’ll have a private room or a shared room and if I have a shared room I definitely don’t want anyone coming to visit it’ll prolong me being there on top of that I have to hear the other person and their baby when I just want to relax and heal and bond with mines. It’s just all very overstimulating. Idk how to not feel bad about it but I don’t want visitors and idk how else to say that. Did anyone else have this problem ? I really just want to go into labor and not tell anyone until atleast 3 days after the baby is born. I’m very spiritual and protective of me and my babies energy and just want to be able to adjust…

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Yeah my mom and I don’t have a great relationship and she definitely feels some type of way about not coming to the hospital. The thing is— setting boundaries is GOOD. As long as your intentions are pure (which they are), you’re not responsible for how people react to the boundaries you set. That’s something they can deal with. This probably won’t be the last time you’ll be setting boundaries with family when it comes to parenting and your child, might as well start now. Your feelings are totally valid and it’s your child- your choice.

Validating your instincts to protect your peace! My parents and I have a great relationship. They were so excited for their first grandchild and I wanted them to be involved because I knew how much it meant to them. Honestly, they were the most stressful part of my experience. They flew out early and every day were pressuring me to do squats or drink raspberry tea or have sex to start labor. They couldn’t stop trying to get me to change my mind on things my partner and I already decided like vaccines and circumcising. They genuinely meant well but ultimately I’m really sad I lost the last few days with just me and my partner to stress and overwhelm with my parents. Their last day was the day after I gave birth. It was incredibly stressful to have them there during my son’s first pediatric appointment and I lost a lot of skin to skin time to them holding the baby. If I could do it over, I’d lie and have everyone come once I was home and settled in small doses.

Set your boundaries and stick to them, you have every right to and they should respect them. Maybe just say I love you and I’m sorry if this is disappointing to you but I would really appreciate you respecting my boundaries and wishes during such a momentous time in my and my baby’s life and I am so excited for you to meet them once we are home from the hospital and ready for visitors

@Abby I like how you worded that. Because all I could say was it’s my choice and I’d rather be home in a comfortable environment. I just don’t want people around me at the hospital. I want to be in comfy clothes at home not hooked up with anything etc. they don’t understand that. They just want what they want.

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